Talk:Joel Anderson/Archive 1
Latest comment: 12 years ago by Quill and Pen in topic Copyedit
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Lead too long
A "lead too long" tag that I made was reverted, but you may want to consider taking out some of the non-essential information that's repeated shortly thereafter in the following paragraph and/or in the infobox, like education and family. It seems to clutter it up a bit. See Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Biographies#Opening paragraph, tell me if you agree Zujua (talk) 12:34, 19 December 2011 (UTC)
- Hi. I removed the maintenance template because most people will only read the lead and I think the information presented is not at all too much to be a summary of the article/the biography. I stumble a little over what you mean by non-essential information. Perhaps give an example of how to improve the wording? Thanks and regards Hekerui (talk) 16:25, 19 December 2011 (UTC)
Copyedit
Tightened the lede and removed some of the long-winded writing.
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Quill and Pen (talk) 02:53, 2 May 2012 (UTC)