Talk:Jim Delsing

Latest comment: 3 years ago by Sanfranciscogiants17 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

This review is transcluded from Talk:Jim Delsing/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 21:30, 24 May 2020 (UTC)Reply

Criteria edit

1. Prose   On hold

2. Verifiability   On hold

3. Depth of Coverage  Pass

4. Neutral  Pass

5. Stable  Pass

6. Illustrations  Pass

7. Miscellaneous   On hold

Comments edit

1.

  • "Green Bay finished a half-game back of Sheboygan for the league pennant" - If the Sheboygan team has an article, link it.
  • "He had three hits in a game three times during the year: July 16, August 9, and August 11" - Do you think it's worth mentioning the opponents?
  • "In nine games, Delsing batted .350 with five runs scored, seven hits, and three RBI" - I'm wondering if it should be RBIs, not RBI.
    • There's two schools of thought on it, and I think either is acceptable. The argument for RBIs is that it's plural; therefore, there should be an s on the end. The argument for RBI is that the abbreviation is for "runs batted in," and putting an s on the end makes it look like it stands for "run batted ins." Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 03:01, 25 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "Winthrop Street and Evergreen Road in the Northwest part of Detroit" - Unless Northwest is the name of a specific region in Detroit, I don't think it should be capitalized.

2.

  • "He might have been injured at the end of June, as he left the Browns' game on June 19 in the fifth inning and did not play again for 13 games.[9] " - I'm not seeing a direct statement for this in the linked source. It's a bit OR-ish to say that without a source to back up the idea, however plausible.
    • Changed to just say he left the game and did not play for 13 games, with no explanation. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 03:04, 25 May 2020 (UTC)Reply

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

  • Can playing career be split with some lower-level subheadings? It's a very long section.
  • The section Delsing's description of his playing style is a very short section. I'd recommend considering merging into the main career section, but if you object, it isn't a big deal.