Talk:Jean Enersen
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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment edit
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 29 March 2021 and 4 June 2021. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Byjaredbrown. Peer reviewers: Alexstonehill, Hannahmarriiee, Sshockley1.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 23:20, 17 January 2022 (UTC)
Peer Review suggestions from 4/23 edit
Hi Jared. I love what you did with the article, and it was a great choice to start with. I was confused by this sentence in the lede: "As an anchor for 42 years, she was the first and longest-standing local female anchor in the country." I looked up the source article, and it's similarly worded. If it's in fact true that she was the 'first female anchor in the country' I think that should be called out a little more explicitly. Like "She was the first female anchor in the country, and also the longest-standing female anchor, holding the role at KING for 42 years." I updated the part "after a week on the job, to remove the inline citation of the Seattle Times because it was confusing. Hope I got the reference number right. The third paragraph in the Career section was a little confusing too. I'm not quite sure how to fix. But I think the quote just needs a little more framing, since it sounds like it's about her being one of only two women, when it's actually not. Great job overall Alexstonehill (talk) 00:01, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
- @Alexstonehill: Thanks so much for your suggestions! I totally agreed on the lede -- it felt awkward but I didn't write it and was unsure how to reword it. Also agree that I needed to add more context to the quote. Byjaredbrown (talk) 20:43, 29 April 2021 (UTC)
Peer Review edit
Hi Jared, Really liked reading your article- I can't believe I've grown up in the Seattle area but didn't know who Jean Enersen was! Overall, I thought it was really well-balanced and included good sources. I realize finding sources for biographies of living people is a little harder so great job on that! I think some of the wording in the "Career" section could be rearranged to be improved. Just switching two sentences in the second paragraph ("After a week on the job..." and "The film division...") would make that paragraph more clear. Additionally, clarifying the context of the quote in the third paragraph and explaining why it matters would also be a little helpful Right now it's not clear how it connects to the previous sentence. I really liked the sections on pop culture and philanthropy. Those added some more insight into her life.
-Hannah
Hannahmarriiee (talk) 03:01, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
- @Hannahmarriiee: Thanks so much for your suggestions -- they were really helpful! Byjaredbrown (talk) 20:59, 29 April 2021 (UTC)