Talk:Jawdhar/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Iazyges (talk · contribs) 17:39, 20 September 2022 (UTC)

Criteria

GA Criteria
GA Criteria: 1 1.a Y 1.b Y 2 2.a Y 2.b Y 2.c Y 2.d Y 3 3.a Y 3.b Y 4 4.a Y 5 5.a Y 6 6.a Y 6.b Y

• No DAB links Y
• No dead links Y
• No missing citations Y (I don't suppose the third book in memoirs technically needs a citation, but as the other two are cited you may wish to add one for uniformity).

Discussion

• Spotchecks performed on bits from Brett and Haji (the only two I have access to). Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 17:46, 20 September 2022 (UTC)

Prose Suggestions

Please note that almost all of these are suggestions, and can be implemented or ignored at your discretion. Any changes I deem necessary for the article to pass GA standards I will bold.

Origin and early career

• (No suggestion) Jawdhar was a eunuch slave of Slavic origin (Saqaliba): Fascinating how the motivation for having such slaves is basically identical to the Varangian Guard of their perennial allies.

Under al-Mansur

• Jawdhar insists in his memoirs that he was the trustee of al-Mansur's secret nomination as his father's heir already at the time of al-Qa'im's own accession in 934, the matter of succession was, theoretically, up entirely to al-Qa'im, and not elected/consulted by others, correct? If so, suggest perhaps changing secret nomination to undisclosed selection, if not, suggest a brief explanation of who else was involved.
• @Cplakidas: that is all my suggestions, a very nice article and interesting read. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 18:13, 20 September 2022 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.