Talk:James Monroe Whitfield

Caprial's peer review

technical stuff

• In the lead, the birth date needs a first parenthesis.
• "Would become" can just be "became"
• None of the footnote hyperlinks past 4 link to a specific source
• Remove the comma in "August, 1862" at the end of the Abolition section

content stuff

• Good use of a quote from Frederick Douglass to make this guy seem important
• I think Whitfield's involvement with the emigration movement could be its own sub-section or the section could be renamed something like "Abolitionism and Emigrationism"
• The lead is strong and concise, but include "black emigration" rather than "colonial efforts" as this can link to the emigration wiki page
• Good chronological format
• Theoretically more sources would be good, but I assume none exist so you're fine on reliability

Lacroixluvr99 (talk) 22:49, 28 November 2018 (UTC)

Benjamin Burkley peer review

Unpaired close parenthesis in first line (after date).

All section headings: capitalize only first word, leave subsequent words uncapitalized unless proper noun; see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style#Section_headings .

Punctuation after "disheartening" -- replace comma inside quotes with period.

"Colonization Movement" -- 'movement' should not be capitalized, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Back-to-Africa_movement. Also consider making text link to that article.

"1850's" -- Do not use apostrophe when pluralizing numbers: 1850s is correct

Frederick Douglass, James T. Holly, Francis Preston Blair: link to their respective pages.

Delaney: last name? first name? Who?

"senator" -- Use uppercase S when referring to a specific person, e.g. 'King George' vs. 'there was a king.'

"...for the project, ..." -- These are two independent clauses: use semicolon instead of comma.

"U.S." is not incorrect, but "US" is typically more modern/preferred.

Good organization, even though some sections are very short.

Consider giving a sentence or clause to quickly explain what the Colonization movement was/is.

Consider changing the article to simple active voice past tense: e.g. change "where he would open a barber shop" to "where he opened a barber shop," or "Whitfield would encounter" to "Whitfield encountered."

Eighthundredandseventy (talk) 23:03, 28 November 2018 (UTC)

Prof. Smith Feedback:

Hi Henry,

You have a good start here and I think that you can revise this into a helpful and informative article. Be sure to follow all of the advice that your peers are giving you above. I would make these exact corrections if I was line editing the article, so I would take their suggestions to heart when you revise. In addition to the stylistic issues that your peers mentioned, I'd like to see you do the following things: 1) Specify that Whitfield was African American in the lead sentence. 2) Insert a section on his poetry. The main content area that seems to be lacking here is his poetry. He actually wrote several semi-famous poems, including one called "America," that dealt with themes of rights and liberty. Given that most people who are looking him up are probably interested in his literary contributions, you really need to include a list of his famous poems and publications. I Googled this and found a lot immediately, so the information is out there and will just take some more digging. 3) The article needs clean up at the bottom. You have a lot of bibliography and citation entries that are kind of messed up and repetitive. Be sure to use the citation tool to insert your references (see the template that I handed out in class). 4) - Remember that you need "See Also" and "External Links" sections to have a complete assignment. See the article template that I handed out in class, and that is posted on our Canvas homepage, for details on what to include in these sections and how to format them. StaceySmithOSU (talk) 20:22, 1 December 2018 (UTC)