Talk:James Bell (basketball)/GA2

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 04:51, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman 04:51, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

Sadly I actually forgot about this until just now. Here are my issues:

• An image isn't required for GA status, but it couldn't hurt to try asking one of the authors of images here to change the image to a CC-BY or CC-BY-SA license.
• The first sentence would work better simply noting his current team, as worded now it feels a little odd. For that matter, the lead is meant to be a summary and it glosses over his last two seasons and any personal life info completely.
• "to a 23-5 record and national ranking." make sure it's an ndash for the record (here as well as throughout the article), plus can you note the specific national ranking? I'd presume it's MaxPreps but I don't know for sure.
• "He was hampered by stress fractures in his tibia." make that sentence more clear that the fractures were in both; it made the following sentence about rods in both legs confusing originally.
• " Villanova finished the season a disappointing 13-19" the "disappointing" part isn't needed since it's editorializing (and a given anyway given the losing record); rm.
• "Bell averaged 15.6 points and 5.3 rebounds per game to lead Villanova to three wins over USC, Kansas and Iowa and the Battle 4 Atlantis championship." The wording here is odd. Perhaps reword the second part to ...Kansas and Iowa, helping Villanova win the Battle 4 Atlantis championship."?
• We then have three straight sentences noting that he won Big 5 player of the week honors, and it feels repetitive despite it being a different win each week; try rewording, maybe combining the later two sentences.
• Can the professional career be expanded? I know there's not going to be much, but two sentences in two paragraphs just noting contract signings isn't enough.
• "3.8 points per game on and 3.1 rebounds per contest." rm on
• There is a bit of close paraphrasing at times that needs fixing. For example, the sophomore section has "As a sophomore, Bell averaged 7.0 points and 3.8 rebounds per game and shot 36% from behind the three point arc. He scored a season-high 18 points on 6-of-11 shooting along with six rebounds to help the Wildcats beat Seton Hall 84-76 on January 21, 2012." while the source has "Averaged 7.0 points and 3.8 rebounds per game and was 39-of-108 (.361) from outside the 3-point arc ... Delivered a season-high 18 points on 6-of-11 shooting along with six rebounds to help VU down Seton Hall 84-76 at the Pavilion on Jan. 18" Not a direct copy-paste, but was clearly somewhat taken from that line. Make it a little more in your own words.

I'll put the article on hold and will take another look through when the issues are fixed. Wizardman 23:05, 9 November 2014 (UTC)

My official hold time will be 10 days rather than a week, since I see the writer's only semi-active. Wizardman 23:45, 11 November 2014 (UTC)

Gave it ten days and, despite activity from the editor, nothing has been changed in the article, which means I'll unfortunately have to fail this. Wizardman 03:39, 22 November 2014 (UTC)