Talk:James B. Rosenwald

Latest comment: 10 years ago by Nurseling in topic Article issues

Article issues edit

I've placed some tags on this article to alert interested editors (and readers too) that the article needs improvement in certain areas:

  • Neutrality and tone-- The lead sounds self promoting, especially "He and his wife, Laura made a contribution to NYU for the Rosenwald Global Value Student Investment Fund. Every year, a tenth of the fund will be invested in one or more stocks based on recommendations made by the students in his class."
    • Also on WP we don't use first names per WP:SURNAME. So the name Jamie needs to be substituted with Rosenwald.
      • The article overall is too personalized. Its sounds cheery and self promotional. WP requires a dispassionate tone. Here is one example: In 1999, Jamie and former classmate Steve Persky formed Dalton Investments. Today, Dalton Investments oversees approximately $2.6 billion.. a more neutral version would be: Rosenwald co-founded Dalton Investments in 1999. (info about his company and friend are off topic).
  • Lead -- The lead paragraph is not a place to highlight all the nice things about the person (nor all the bad things) but rather its a brief overview of the article. For an article of this size it should only be 2-3 sentences and speak in general terms and should not include his company AUM, where he teaches etc.

Thank you Keith! Very good suggestions! I will try my best to make it meet WP guidelines. Nurseling (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2014 (UTC)tinaReply

Sounds good. :-) --KeithbobTalk 18:21, 2 January 2014 (UTC)Reply

Hi Keith, I read the article of Arlen Gregorio, and I learned a lot from that article. I have two questions for you: 1. what is a appropriate subtitle for teaching experience in NYU? I want to move that part from Lead paragraph below investment career. 2. How to describe Rosenwald Global Value Student Investment Fund in a less dispassionate way? I feel it is important for the school and students. Thanks a million! TinaZhu-Nurseling (talk) 19:49, 3 January 2014 (UTC)Reply

Hi Keith, I changed the lead paragraph. Please review. TinaZhu-Nurseling (talk) 19:49, 3 January 2014 (UTC)Reply