Talk:Ileret

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Emmapage22, Juliagurr. Peer reviewers: Glackin 1033, OliviaNiuman.

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External links modified

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• Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20070628084749/http://www.eck.or.ke/downloads/pollingcentres.pdf to http://www.eck.or.ke/downloads/pollingcentres.pdf

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Editing Suggestions

Hello! I have been assigned to peer edit this page as a part of a Wikipedia Education assignment. There are a few sections I found that could be reworked for a more precise explanation.

In the first section, perhaps the last two sentences could be combined to make the information flow better, for example:

Numerous hominin fossils have been found near Ileret, including Homo erectus footprints dating back to about 1.5 million years ago, making them the second oldest hominin footprints ever found after those at Laetoli, Tanzania.[2]

In the section titled "Homo erectus Footprints and Bipedalism," perhaps the discussion explaining bipedalism is not necessary to the Ileret wiki page, and would be best to just link the page to bipedalism and leave the page to a discussion of strictly Ileret. Also, generally to avoid bias it is best to use as few adjectives as possible; perhaps instead of saying "a clear sign of social behavior," it would be better to just say, "a evidence which researchers see as a sign of social behavior" or something similar.

In the same section, the sentence "According to Rutgers University, “the big toe is parallel to the other toes, unlike that of apes where it is separated in a grasping configuration useful in the trees" requires a citation. I would also suggest paraphrasing, as the same information can be conveyed in a more succinct way.

Finally, the section labeled "People" might be more aptly titled "Notable Researchers" or something similar.

Again, these are just suggestions. Good job on the article! OliviaNiuman (talk) 19:34, 14 November 2018 (UTC)