Talk:Iced Out Audemars/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 10:52, 19 March 2021 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will review this soon, per your request... a bit ironic since I originally nominated it for deletion. --K. Peake 10:52, 19 March 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• Infobox looks good!
• The remix release sentence should be swapped with the drill and lyrics sentence for the correct order; you can have the final para dedicated to the remix
• "A remix that" → "A remix of the song that"
• "Musically a drill track, the lyrics" → "A drill track, the lyrics"
• "finer things in life and expressing their love for Dior and" → "finer things and expressing their love for Dior, among"
• Remove the chorus and outro parts, as this is too specific for the lead

Background and release

• "known their real names" → "known under their respective real names of"
• "Khadafi Julio. It was written alongside" → "Khadafi Julio, alongside"
• Remove repetition of Khadafi Julio under writing credits
• Why is the additional producer not mentioned here and in the lead? Bare in mind, it's not like the infobox where you can't add them.
• "debut deluxe studio album," → "debut studio album"
• Remove release year in brackets, as it is specified later on in the sentence
• Introduce Lil Wayne as being a rapper

Music and lyrics

• "during the chorus" → "during both the chorus" with the pipe
• "He pays homage to" → "Lil Wayne pays homage to" but this should start a new para in the section, as it and the following sentences total up to four
• "we gone tomorrow"." → "we gone tomorrow."" per MOS:QUOTE on full quotes
• Pipe Wu-Tang to Wu-Tang Clan
• Pipe pitched to Pitch (music)

Critical reception

• "[Pop Smoke]] would" → "[Pop Smoke] would"
• "Complex's Jessica McKinney opined that" → "McKinney opined that"
• "while The Fader's Jordan Darville wrote that Lil Wayne added" → "while Darville wrote the rapper contributes" to avoid overusing his stage name
• "Jon Powell for Revolt commented that Lil Wayne" → "Jon Powell, for Revolt, commented that he"
• "and said "New York's" → "and said that "New York's"

Credits and personnel

• Pipe Bashar Jackson to Pop Smoke
• Swap featured artist and songwriter
• Swap songwriting and programming

References

• Copyvio score looks very good at 23.7%!
• Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
• HypeBeast → Hypebeast on ref 12

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold until all of the issues are fixed! --K. Peake 14:16, 19 March 2021 (UTC)

Kyle Peake thanks a lot for the review. Only a few more articles to go! The Ultimate Boss (talk) 20:44, 19 March 2021 (UTC)

The Ultimate Boss ✓ Pass now and there were some mistakes but they were not the changes themselves being missed so I copyedited the fixes in, plus good luck with the GT! --K. Peake 21:57, 19 March 2021 (UTC)