Talk:I Lost a Friend/GA2

GA Review

Latest comment: 3 years ago7 comments2 people in discussion

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 11:39, 16 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )

3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I believe I owe you one after you co-nominated "Lift Yourself", so I will give back by reviewing this! --K. Peake 11:39, 16 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

Infobox looks good!
Add mention of Finneas writing and producing the song as the second sentence since the lead is quite short currently; it should be written out in the body anyway because otherwise the credits in the infobox are WP:OR and a personnel section is not needed for one performer
Target single to Single (music); this will be the third sentence
"Described as an electropop ballad," → "An electropop ballad," with the target
"childhood friend, and regretting and wondering" → "childhood friend and regretting doing so, as well as wondering" since this is more accurate
"A music video for the track was" → "An accompanying music video was" with the wikilink
The body does not call the field "overgrown" or anything familiar
Swap live performance and remix order
"A remix by" → "A remix of the song by"

Target WBUR to WBUR-FM
"Finneas explains the song" → "Finneas explained the song"
"He says" → "He said,"
"He continues to say it's about" → "He continued by saying the song is about"
"he had reunited with again." → "with whom he had reunited again."
"going to hear it," → "going to hear the song"
"to get his opinion on the song." → "to get his opinion."
"The songs cover art" → "The song's cover art"
Writing in 2018 sentence should come directly after the above instead
Digital download and streaming part should come before the second single status
Target single to Single (music)
"on Finneas' debut extended play (EP), → "from Finneas' debut EP"
Remove wikilink on Blood Harmony and add the release year of the album in brackets
Move the remix mention to music video and promotion after the live performances in a new para

Not done

"described the genre of the track as an" → "described "I Lost a Friend" as an"
Target ballad to Sentimental ballad
"features minimalist of instrumentation of" → "features minimalist instrumentation that consists of"
Remove wikilinks on piano and drums
"an aggressive beat and" → "an aggressive beat, and"
"later explained in an interview with Pitchfork saying:" → "later explained the production in an interview with Pitchfork, saying:"
"a "talk-through," and wanted to" → "a "talk-through", which meant he tried to"
"He showcases this in the pre-chorus." → "Finneas showcases the process in the pre-chorus:" with the wikilink per MOS:LINK2SECT
[11] should solely be at the end of the para
"discusses the pre-chorus" → "discussed the pre-chorus"
"and people to stay" → "and others to stay"
"fights," He further says," → "fights", and also said,"

"met with mainly positive reviews." → "met with mainly positive reviews from music critics" with the target
"on your tracks."" → "on your tracks"."
Will Richards' review belongs after Brittany Spanos' because the former is the most critical review here so should come after the others that are clearly more positive
"Writing for NME, Will Richards" → "For NME, Will Richards"
"less positive with the song," → "less positive towards the song,"
"distorted bass", comparing it to Billie Eilish's" → "distorted bass," comparing "I Lost a Friend" to Billie Eilish's debut studio album" with the wikilink
Add release year of the album in brackets
Move the remix praise to the remix's new para in the succeeding section to this one
"was also praised by critics." → "was praised by critics."
"and that it shifts" → "and stated that the remix shifts"
"noted the original featured a" → "noted that while the original features a"

Mention in the opening sentence that it was released to Finneas' YouTube channel
"the sunset lowers and the darkness" → "the sunset lowers and darkness"
"As he continues to" → "While Finneas continues to"
"met with positive reviews" → "met with positive reviews from critics."
"its one take", and that "images" → "its one take", noting the choreography for "images"
"Finneas toured throughout" → "He toured across"
"he performed from the EP during the tour." → "Finneas performed from the EP on the tour."
"In October of the same year," → "That same month,"
"performed on a keyboard," → "performed while sat at a keyboard,"
"covered in blue and neon lights showcasing" → "being covered in blue as neon lights showcased" with the target
"in hushed vocals.[20] He briefly wanders off the stage before" → "in hushed vocals, and briefly wandered off the stage during the performance before"

Not done

On hold until all the issues are fixed, was nice to do a review for you once again! --K. Peake 15:21, 16 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

Kyle Peake, thank you so much for the review! It's always a pleasure working with you! I have addressed all of your concerns. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 18:44, 16 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

The Ultimate Boss Thank you, but the not done template should only be marked on things that are really not done; though why are you against moving the remix info? --K. Peake 21:24, 16 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

The Ultimate Boss ✓ Pass now, good job on solving the issues but I still did some brief copyediting! --K. Peake 09:03, 18 November 2020 (UTC)Reply