Talk:Hyper Duel/GA1
Latest comment: 3 minutes ago by KGRAMR in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Nominator: KGRAMR (talk · contribs) 23:59, 6 June 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: PresN (talk · contribs) 21:51, 3 September 2024 (UTC)
Reviewing this for GAN. I review by noting problems as I read through it.
- Lede
"released for arcades by Taito"
- should probably specify "released for arcades in Japan by Taito"
"It runs on the TEC442-A hardware."
- "It" is ambiguous since the last sentence wasn't about the game itself, and "hardware" isn't enough for a non-knowledgeable reader to know you mean the arcade board.
Done -- I corrected the sentence. Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:32, 3 September 2024 (UTC)
"Hyper Duel was Technosoft's first original arcade game, created by new members who would later work on Thunder Force V."
- it reads oddly to mention a different game they later worked on, which I see now is because HD is a similar game and Technosoft was known for the series. I'd change it to "Hyper Duel was Technosoft's first original arcade game, reminiscent of its Thunder Force series, and was created by new employees who would later work on Thunder Force V."
"which took a considerable amount of time"
- any way to be more specific?
- To make the sentence more concise, i decided to remove this particular sentence. Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:38, 3 September 2024 (UTC)
"The soundtrack was scored by Hyakutaro Tsukumo, his first video game project, who later composed the music for"
- you keep switching the subject from the soundtrack to Tsukumo and back, and you already mentioned TFV. Try just "The soundtrack was scored by Hyakutaro Tsukumo as his first video game project."
- Rest
"Both modes are simultaneously upgraded by collecting power-up icons (P) that drop from defeated enemies, however the game's ranking system increases based on the number of power-ups collected"
- the "however" is throwing me here. Is the ranking system more than a rank, like the game gets harder?
- Basically, "ranking" or "rank" is a term given for arcade games that increase their difficulty on the fly based on how much power-ups the player collects. I made a slight change to this sentence. Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:57, 3 September 2024 (UTC)
"two satellite options"
- how are they "options"? What do you choose between?
- I decided to simplify it as satellites. Roberth Martinez (talk) 00:01, 4 September 2024 (UTC)
"The player can also earn extra points by collecting icons while at full power or when the craft is stationary which slowly increases the score"
- The second half of this sentence goes off the rails a bit. I think you mean "The player can also earn extra points by collecting icons while at full power or by keeping the craft stationary." (slowly doesn't mean much when we don't have anything to compare it to)
"The music was composed by Hyakutaro Tsukumo, his first video game project, who became the main composer"
-> "The music was composed by Hyakutaro Tsukumo as his first video game project, and who became the main composer"
"In 1996, the Japanese Sega Saturn Magazine wrote that it was released in January 1994."
- I'm not sure what the purpose of this sentence is. A magazine later got the release month wrong?
- I can explain this one: i took cues from Girl's Garden. The book by former Game Machine editor Masumi Akagi states that the game was released in October 1993. However, in a interview with Naosuke Arai of Technosoft, the Japanese Sega Saturn Magazine provides a softography of the games released by Technosoft and lists Hyper Duel with a January 1994 release date. I tried looking into Micom Basic Magazine as well to back up either one, since they provided release dates of arcade games in some of their issue, but i could not find anything for Hyper Duel unfortunately. I can remove it if you want though. Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:50, 3 September 2024 (UTC)
"ranking among Saturn titles at the number 228 spot in a 2000 public poll respectively"
-> "and in 2000 it was ranked in a public poll in Dreamcast Magazine as number 228 among Saturn titles."
- Not going to push too hard on it, given the lack of depth of each review, but it would be better in the reception section to group reviewer comments by what they're talking about, rather than just giving each review a sentence. See WP:VG/REC.
- Refs 27, 30, 31 should have the ALLCAPS fixed.
- Not required, but consider using the |trans-title parameter of references to give a translated title for non-English sources.
- Date formats are inconsistent, I've added a template to force it to be mdy.