Talk:Hurricane Madeline (1976)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Canadian Paul 03:22, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

I will be reviewing this article shortly, but I just wanted to set up the review page now. Canadian Paul 03:22, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Some comments:

1. The picture in the infobox requires a caption.
2. Reference #6 is no longer working.
3. Under "Meteorological history", first paragraph, "By the morning of September 29, the disturbance was upgraded to a 40 mph (65 km/h) tropical storm and named as Madeline based on ship reports and satellite imagery." - The way this is phrased, it makes it seem like the storm was named "Madeline" because of those reports.

   Thats quite correct.Jason Rees (talk) 13:16, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

4. The language in this section needs to be more precise. "During the next couple of days", "over the next day or two" etc. is not particularly encyclopedic in tone and does not help the reader gain a clear understanding of the storm's progression. If something is not know with sufficient certainty, then you can state "on either Monday or Tuesday..." (as a random example) or whatever.
5. Same section, second paragraph "Despite the upgrade, the aircraft reported winds 70 mph (120 km/h) winds and a pressure of 984 millibars." - This reads as if the hurricane's winds acted against the will of the upgrade. I assume that the idea is something along the lines of "The storm was upgraded despite the fact that the aircraft reported...", which needs to be made clearer.
6. Same section, third paragraph "before early on October 8" is not proper English.
7. Under "Preparations and impact", first paragraph - "Army headquarters put in effect..." per WP:OBVIOUS, which army? Can it be wikilinked?
8. Same paragraph, it is written "According to newspapers, evacuations prior to Madeline were considered a success", but then only one newspaper is cited. Perhaps "According to at least one report" would be more accurate, unless others claim the same.
9. Same section, second paragraph - "Damage from the hurricane was severe." - Is this your opinion or something from the source (PDFs tend to crash my browser, so I couldn't check)? If it's something from the source, it should be written as "Damage from the hurricane was considered severe". If not, per WP:ATTRIBUTEPOV, let the facts describe themselves and let the reader decide if it was severe or not.
10. This paragraph is overall very choppy. It's basically a bunch of very short facts one after the other. Perhaps combining or reworking some of these sentences would help, as right now it's difficult to read.

To allow for these changes to be made I am placing the article on hold for a period of up to a week. I'm always open to discussion on any of the items, so if you think I'm wrong on something leave your thoughts here and we'll discuss. I'll be checking this page at least daily, unless something comes up, so you can be sure I'll notice any comments left here. Canadian Paul 04:14, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

I have addressed all the issues except 4 and 7. In 4, the day off the week is not mention in the season summary. In 7, the army is not known. Leave Message, Yellow Evan home

Regarding #4, the point was more that the language used here is imprecise and unencyclopedic in tone; using the days of the week to specify was only an example. And even if it is justified (maybe the precise timeline is unknown?), you use the exact same phrase twice in quick succession.

Moving to the lead, there's two problems: "The system remained weak for several days as it drifted west-northwest for several days." - at least one of those "for several days" is redundant. Also, it is written "This made Madeline the second most intense hurricane to strike the west coast of Mexico on record", but this fact is not mentioned in the body of the article. Per WP:LEAD, the introduction must not introduce information that is not cited within the body of the article. Canadian Paul 16:30, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

I have addressed all the above issues. Leave Message, Yellow Evan home

Good! I believe that this article now satisfied the Good Article criteria, and therefore I will be passing it as such. Congratulations and thank you for your hard work. Canadian Paul 22:56, 30 April 2010 (UTC)