Talk:Hurricane Dennis (1981)/GA1

Latest comment: 6 years ago by 12george1 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink mobile (talk · contribs) 16:44, 28 June 2017 (UTC)Reply


Review

  • The tenth tropical cyclone, fourth named storm of the hurricane season - combine with an "and", since sentence is grammatically awkward now without it
  • Given article's length, could you trim down MH in the lead so it's only two paragraphs?
  • In the 3rd lead paragraph (hopefully 2nd in the future), you have two sentences starting w "Much of..." Please change one.
  • Many businesses and homes in city such as Homestead and Florida City suffered water damage. Fix
  • Further north - this will always be "farther" for anything related to length/direction. You do this twice.
  • wind shear prevented additional deepening.[3] Increasing wind shear caused Dennis to weaken - combine?
  • When did Dennis become ET, and where did remnants dissipate?
  • The ET was at 00:00 UTC on August 22. CB gave me the Mariners Weather Log (the only source to talk about the ET stage) and it doesn't give the location. I'm guessing somewhere not too far south of Greenland, but that's just speculating--12george1 (talk) 17:43, 28 June 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • Any impacts for East Carib?
  • I mentioned that there was heavy rainfall in Martinique, Saint Lucia, the Virgin Islands. Dennis was just a TD (and barely) by this point. I haven't seen more than that--12george1 (talk) 17:43, 28 June 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • Some United States Military vessels were went out to sea - "went" or "were sent?
  • At Homestead Air Force Base, 86 aircraft were evacuated. - shouldn't this be in previous para?
  • No, they were evacuated because the base flooded. I'll clarify that--12george1 (talk) 17:43, 28 June 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • Approximately 650 acres (260 ha) of avocado trees were destroyed, causing a loss of more than 100,000 boxes. Damage to avocados exceeded $3.5 million.[ - find a way to say it in one sentence

All in all, decent. Hurricanehink mobile (talk) 16:44, 28 June 2017 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for the review!--12george1 (talk) 17:43, 28 June 2017 (UTC)Reply