Talk:Horologium (constellation)/GA1
Latest comment: 4 years ago by Gog the Mild in topic GA Review
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 18:08, 11 November 2019 (UTC)
Hi Cas: is this ready for me to look at yet? Gog the Mild (talk) 19:22, 13 December 2019 (UTC)
- Sure take a look - navigating between accessability, accuracy and succinctness can be a challenge. How much to leave to bluelinks etc. So all input appreciated. One of the issues is that it is a summary-style article so detailed explanations could go way off topic. Specifically two points raised on the talk about how to shoehorn explanation of apparent vs absolute magnitude and how variations in accuracy are explained. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 22:36, 14 December 2019 (UTC)
- Oh joy. Let's see if I can provide anything useful. I have a, probably bad, habit of asking rhetorical questions when reviewing; assume that any question is asked from a hypothetical reader's perspective, rather than because I personally want to know.
- I have done a little copy editing, which you will want to check.
- I would delete "and one of several depicting scientific instruments" from the lead.
- "only one brighter than apparent (visual) magnitude 4". Suggest changing to 'only one brighter than an apparent magnitude of 4" '.
- "0.603% of the sky" Is that the whole sky or the visible sky?
- Link "chisel", "reticle", "dolphin", "swordfish", and "water snake".
- err, water snake is a disambiguation page.... Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 22:40, 19 December 2019 (UTC)
- "Lacaille charted and designated 11 stars with the Bayer designations Alpha (α Hor) through to Lambda Horologii (λ Hor) in 1756" Consider 'In 1756 Lacaille charted and designated 11 major stars within the constellation, designating them Alpha (α Hor) through to Lambda Horologii (λ Hor).' or similar. (Just a suggestion.)
- Do we know when Baily "removed the designations ... "
- "Kappa Horologii, too, was unable to be verified" Was this also by Baily. Do we know what happened to the designation?
- Gould requires introducing. And, ideally, a date assigning to his work.
- Possibly a short final sentence to the paragraph stating how many designated stars the constellation now contains?
More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 20:44, 19 December 2019 (UTC)
- "light-years distant from Earth" Suggest removing "distant".
- "it has a luminosity of 28 solar luminosities" Umm. Maybe 'it is 28 times brighter than the Sun'?
- "The estimated mass of the disks is (1.3±0.7)×10−3 times the mass of the Earth". Any chance of putting that in non-scientific terms, and footnoting the technical numbers?
- "with one of the widest ranges in brightness" Optional: → 'with one of the widest ranges in variation of brightness'.
- "observations of these two stars were urgently needed" "urgently" seems an odd word, and isn't really explained. How about 'reported that further observations of these two stars were needed as ... '
- "is 1,370 (± 70) light-years distant from Earth" "distant"?
- "one of which lay in its circumstellar habitable zone" Optional: → delete "habitable", both here and in the lead.
- Err, not sure I follow..circumstellar habitable zone has a very specific meaning. "circumstellar zone" is not an abbreviation for same Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 03:08, 23 December 2019 (UTC)
- Good spot. That was me typing garbage. Sorry. I meant to suggest deleting "circumstellar". Gog the Mild (talk) 10:42, 23 December 2019 (UTC)
- Err, not sure I follow..circumstellar habitable zone has a very specific meaning. "circumstellar zone" is not an abbreviation for same Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 03:08, 23 December 2019 (UTC)
- "Horologium is also home to many deep-sky objects; there are several globular clusters in the constellation." Suggest 'Horologium is also home to many deep-sky objects, including several globular clusters.' or similar
- "The globular cluster Arp-Madore 1 is found in the constellation, the most remotely known globular cluster in the Milky Way" Suggest 'The globular cluster Arp-Madore 1 is the most remotely known globular cluster in the Milky Way' I think readers will have picked up the common thread.
- "in the process of a lengthy merger which has been going on for 400 million years" Optional: delete "lengthy".
Feel free to come back at me over any of those which you don't like. Gog the Mild (talk) 23:28, 22 December 2019 (UTC)
- Cites 13, 17 should be in title case. Check for others.
- I note in passing that I consider Ridpath a RS.
- Cite 24 is set up as a Harv ref. It probably makes sense to change it to the same format as the others.
Gog the Mild (talk) 12:41, 23 December 2019 (UTC)
- Cite 18 is missing title case; 21, 23 - there is a theme here.
- aah, here is the problem - they are part of template:Cite Gaia DR2, which is in sentence case. There is a style issue over whether journal articles use sentence case or title case. Sometimes we've gone with the former, sometimes wth the latter. Loads of articles link to that template. So....either to go back and make all article titles sentence case, or change this template..... Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 01:12, 25 December 2019 (UTC)
- Digging into this, it is not as clear cut as I had thought, so fine. Leave it as is.
- aah, here is the problem - they are part of template:Cite Gaia DR2, which is in sentence case. There is a style issue over whether journal articles use sentence case or title case. Sometimes we've gone with the former, sometimes wth the latter. Loads of articles link to that template. So....either to go back and make all article titles sentence case, or change this template..... Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 01:12, 25 December 2019 (UTC)
- I have tweaked cite 34.
- I have archived the web links. Revert if you don't like it.
Gog the Mild (talk) 17:42, 24 December 2019 (UTC)
A fine, detailed, well written and impressively sourced article. Great work. I am more than happy to recognise it as meeting all of the GA criteria. Gog the Mild (talk) 01:46, 25 December 2019 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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