Talk:Hormizd II

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Royroydeb in topic GA Review

Lede

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@HistoryofIran: I think the lede is kinda short; it should incorporate some more material from the body of the article (i.e. a short summary). - LouisAragon (talk) 16:56, 5 April 2019 (UTC)Reply

Yeah I kinda slacked a bit on that part, will def expand it soon, thanks! --HistoryofIran (talk) 19:49, 5 April 2019 (UTC)Reply

GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Hormizd II/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Royroydeb (talk · contribs) 16:05, 7 April 2019 (UTC)Reply


  Doing... RRD (talk) 16:05, 7 April 2019 (UTC)Reply

1. Well written:

Criteria Notes Result
(a) (prose) Comments have been added   Pass
(b) (MoS) *"most likely did not take part" - most likely is someone's opinion. It should be "According to Shahbazi, Hormizd..."
*" It is said that Shapur" - who said?
  Pass
  • The first sentence of lead needs to be rewritten. "the eighth king (shah) of the Sasanian Empire" must be changed to "Shah of the Sasanian Empire". Shah is primarily a title. Putting "the" before it reduces it to a post (ex. the president of India).
  • It would be better if you could copy the first sentence from Henry III of England and make the necessary changes.
  • "He was the son...." - It should be "He was a son of and the successor of.." . This change must be done if Narseh had more than one child.
  • The first sentence of second paragraph again needs to be rewritten / divided into two sentences.
  • The heading of the "Name" section should be "Etymology". The sole sentence of this paragraph needs to be rewritten.
  • "this may be his queen " - "this may be his wife".
  • "which forced him to surrender " - "forcing him to surrender".
  • "assuming a crown resembling the crown" - makes no sense.
  • "last years of his reign" - he reigned for two years only. What does "last years" signify here?
  • In succession section, the first "he" must be replaced by Hormizd.

2. Verifiable with no original research:

Criteria Notes Result
(a) (references) Have a look at MOS:NOTES. The offspring section is completely unsourced. Al-Tabari is primary source.   Pass
(b) (citations to reliable sources) Pass   Pass
(c) (original research) None   Pass
(d) (copyvio and plagiarism) Will check   Pass

3. Broad in its coverage:

Criteria Notes Result
(a) (major aspects) Comments have been added.   Pass
(b) (focused) Pass   Pass
  • The name section must be expanded.
  • "started out as a cruel ruler but then became benevolent" -Explain.
  • The internal turmoil must be expanded.

4. Neutrality:

Notes Result
" avenge the humiliating defeat" - humiliating must be removed   Pass

5. Stability:

Notes Result
Stable   Pass

6. Illustrated:

Criteria Notes Result
(a) (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales) Pass   Pass
(b) (appropriate use with suitable captions) To prevent MOS:SANDWICH, the first image must be placed at right   Pass

17:35, 9 April 2019 (UTC)

@Royroydeb: Think I've done most of what you asked. As for the internal turmoil part - it's very obscure, there isn't really anything else to write about it, since the only source we have is a rock relief by Hormizd II. Also, the cruel/benevolent ruler part is explained in the quote by al-Tabari. Btw, Hormizd ruled for 7 years. What do you think? --HistoryofIran (talk) 21:11, 9 April 2019 (UTC)Reply
@HistoryofIran: I have added more comments. Please have a look. RRD (talk) 16:52, 11 April 2019 (UTC)Reply
@Royroydeb: What specific part(s) do you want me to add citations to in the offspring section? Also, I disagree on the "most likely" (or "probably" for that matter) part, as I've seen various GA/FA articles doing that without having to mention the certain author stating that. --HistoryofIran (talk) 20:37, 11 April 2019 (UTC)Reply
@HistoryofIran: All the offsprings must be cited. RRD (talk) 11:50, 14 April 2019 (UTC)Reply
@Royroydeb: Done, anything else? --HistoryofIran (talk) 12:03, 14 April 2019 (UTC)Reply
@HistoryofIran: I will recheck soon. RRD (talk) 08:24, 16 April 2019 (UTC)Reply