Talk:Hood Boy/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 15:21, 28 January 2018 (UTC)

Lead

• singer Fantasia, featuring American rapper Big Boi, on → singer Fantasia featuring American rapper Big Boi, from

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• her second self-entitled studio album → I would say "her second and eponymous studio album", as readers could think that the album was her second one to be self-titled

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• the lead single from the alum → the lead single from the album

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• by J. → by J. on [RELEASE DATE]

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• Anthony McIntyre, Antwan Patton, and produced by → Anthony McIntyre and Antwan Patton, while production was handled by

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• It samples the introduction → I would justy say "into" here

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• on various Billboard charts → I would add "in the United States" after this to make everything clear

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• and a remix extended play (EP) was released on February 20, 2007. → just remove this part, as it was an extra (remix) release not necassarily meant for that type of promotion we're aiming for in this sentence

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

Infobox

• You don't need the "Audio" in "Audio CD"

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• The rest is good

• Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

Background and release

• Due to the disappointing commercial → I would rather say "underwhelming" here; "disappointing" sounds like you're giving your opinion on the subject matter

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:19, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• her second self-entitled album → her second and eponymous album (see above for explanation)

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:19, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• Fantasia attributed the change in her musical style as a way from her painful past, which was featured during her time on American → Fantasia attributed the change in her musical style to her alleged "painful" time while on American

• That edit would actually be incorrect. The painful time was not during American Idol; the show included references to her past prior to the show. Aoba47 (talk) 23:19, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• Anthony McIntyre, Antwan Patton, and produced by Austin → Anthony McIntyre and Antwan Patton, while production was handled by Austin

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:19, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• entitled Dance Vault Mixes, which comprises eleven tracks, was made available on February 20, 2007 as a digital download → entitled Dance Vault Mixes was made available on February 20, 2007 as a digital download, comprising eleven tracks

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:19, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

Composition and lyrics

• Its instrumental includes → The song's instrumental includes (repetition)

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:20, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• The lyrics revolve → The lyrics of "Hood Boy" revolve (readers could think that the lyrics on the album revolve around that)

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:20, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• Otherwise, great job!

• Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:20, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

Reception

• Critical feedback to "Hood Boy" → I would rather say "reception" than "feedback"

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:21, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• on several Billboard charts → ...in the United States (see above)

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:21, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• The info about the single's trajectory on US charts is abit repetitive, but it doesn't matter that much for GA.

• Understandable; I do not really think that there is a better way of presenting the information though as adding too much variation in the sentences can make it too distracting to read. It is quite a fine line. Aoba47 (talk) 23:21, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

Music video and promotion

• Unlink "music video"

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:23, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• A music video, directed → An accompanying music video for "Hood Boy", directed

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:23, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• through BET.[7][2] → order of the refs

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:23, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• Big Boi makes an appearance in the video → This sentence is very short and clipped, and breaks the flow of this section

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:23, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• Fantasia performed → For further promotion, Fantasia performed

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:23, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• was met by a positive → was met with positive

• Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:23, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

Formats and track listings

• Everything looks right ;)

• Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:26, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

Personnel

• Flawless ;)

• Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:26, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

Charts

• Flawless ;)

• Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:26, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

Release history

• Flawless ;)

• Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:26, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

Other stuff

Copy-violation

• 29.1% is very good!

• Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:26, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

References

• As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article

• Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:26, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

Outcome

• Great job with this article. I put it  On hold for 7 days to allow you to implement my changes. Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:32, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

• @Cartoon network freak: Thank you for taking this up for review! This is quite a weird song. It was a pretty massive departure for the singer, especially in terms of image. Fantasia also appears to have completely ignored this song (i.e. the music video was removed from YouTube/Vevo channel and she never performs this). I am not a huge fan of this song so I am okay with that lol. Hope you are doing well. Aoba47 (talk) 23:26, 2 February 2018 (UTC)

Gladly passing this! Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:13, 3 February 2018 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.