Talk:Honda Super Cub/GA1

Latest comment: 9 years ago by Dennis Bratland in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: TheQ Editor (talk · contribs) 19:43, 26 October 2014 (UTC)Reply


I promised I would review this when I had time. Sorry for the wait though. Thanks!  ΤheQ Editor  Talk? 19:43, 26 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Development edit

  • "unlike other Japanese companies did not" change to "unlike other Japanese companies, they did not"
--Dennis Bratland (talk) 02:45, 1 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • The last sentence in paragraph 1 is too long. There are too many cases of semi colons.
  • You don't have to put a citation at the end of every sentence. If you are using 1 footnote to cite multiple consecutive sentences, only cite it at the very end. (not required for GAC)
--Dennis Bratland (talk) 02:45, 1 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • "His goal was export on a scale" change to "His goal was exported on a scale"
? See below. --Dennis Bratland (talk) 02:45, 1 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • wikilink die cast
--Dennis Bratland (talk) 02:45, 1 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • "run at full capacity" - run should be ran
--Dennis Bratland (talk) 02:45, 1 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • The picture either needs to be a full sentence or have no period at the end.
--Dennis Bratland (talk) 02:45, 1 November 2014 (UTC)Reply

Design edit

  • There are two "and"s in the sentence of "It moved the engine down and away from the seat," perhaps replacing the first "and" with "it"
fixed Brianhe (talk)
  • "and it made possible larger wheels." should be "and made it possible for larger wheels."
changed to "made it possible to fit larger wheels" Brianhe (talk)
  • The sentence "Though some of the many Super Cub variations..." is too long.
split into two, trimmed second sentence Brianhe (talk)
  • "his was an extremely simple motorcycle," - "extremely" sounds too biased. Cross extremely out.
fixed Brianhe (talk)
fixed Brianhe (talk)
  • Why use "@"? Is that a special annotation, if so link to the page.
spelled out "at" Brianhe (talk) 00:15, 1 November 2014 (UTC)Reply

"You meet the nicest people on a Honda" edit

  • The heading needs to meet WP:Headings. Change it to "Advertising" or anything else you feel appropriate.
Changed to "Advertising campaign that invented lifestyle marketing" Brianhe (talk)
  • FN 37 doesn't say anything about ""added to the macho Harley image."
  Question: I see it in the next-to-last paragraph on page 45. Are you sure you didn't miss this? Brianhe (talk)
Link. --Dennis Bratland (talk) 00:09, 1 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
fixed Brianhe (talk)
fixed Brianhe (talk) 00:04, 1 November 2014 (UTC)Reply

Model History edit

  • "until 1967" - what happened? You may want to reword the order of it
  • "After 1980 the USA C70 was called the C70 Passport." - expand on that or merge that in another paragraph.
--Dennis Bratland (talk) 02:03, 3 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • FN 41 looks good to me. Consider removing the [better source] tag.
--Dennis Bratland (talk) 02:03, 3 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
--Dennis Bratland (talk) 02:03, 3 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • "In late 1960" - should be "In the late 1960s"
  • "When you talk about Japanese" - did the quote ever end?
--Dennis Bratland (talk) 02:03, 3 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
@Dennis Bratland and Brianhe: There are still some issues in this section. After those are fixed, welcome the article to GA!  ΤheQ Editor  Talk? 01:30, 3 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
I didn't mean before to imply were were done. Now it looks like we've fixed 'em all. Let us know. --Dennis Bratland (talk) 02:03, 3 November 2014 (UTC)Reply

Current popularity edit

  • "The Super Cub was included The Guggenheim's" - should be "The Super Cub was included in The Guggenheim's"
fixed Brianhe (talk) 23:51, 31 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

References edit

  • ref 52, 49 and 51 are dead
fixed Brianhe (talk) 23:49, 31 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Questions/comments edit

  • "His goal was export on a scale" change to "His goal was exported on a scale"
    • Fujisawa didn't want to export his goal. His goal was to have large-scale exports of bikes. Maybe it should say "...was to export motorcycles on a scale..."
  • Why use "@"? Is that a special annotation, if so link to the page.
    • I can't find any preference for @ or 'at' on peak torque or hp. FAs Talbot Tagora and Sunbeam Tiger use @. I wish Torque had fewer physics formulas and more plain English explanations of why we express torque (and hp) this way. I don't know where else to link.
  • "In late 1960" - should be "In the late 1960s"
    • This is from a chart; the year was definitely 1960, per p. 39 of same source. Probably "mid" is more accurate than late, or just "In 1960" if we don't know the month. --Dennis Bratland (talk) 23:27, 31 October 2014 (UTC)Reply