Talk:Hey Venus!/GA1

Latest comment: 15 years ago by Cavie78 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

  • Lead seems pretty long for an article of this size. There's some minutae that doesn't really belong there - remember, the lead is there to give an overview of the album. Consider trimming the second paragraph down a bit and moving some stuff into the main body of the article.
  • Consider adding a "release" section for details about the formats it was released in, details of singles, how it did in the charts (in prose form), any information about bonus tracks or alternate versions, etc. This would be a good way to remove some of the stuff from the lead - there's various info in the lead (about bonus tracks and things) that would fit better in a section of their own. For example "(packaged with a bonus CD containing the b-sides of the "Show Your Hand" and "Run-Away" singles and additional video footage)" - we don't really need to be told which songs are on the bonus in the first sentence of the article.
  • "clocking in at just" - not really the right 'tone' for an encyclopedia article
  • Almost no mention of the singles - again, something that could be included in a "release" section. You don't need anything too detailed, just some prose about which songs were released, how they did, any info you may have about the decision to release those particular singles
  • "Themes" and "Background" are a bit quote-y. If over half a section is quotes you probably need to consider condensing and trimming only the most relevant parts.
  • Have trimmed some of the quotes. I think the 'themes' section needs to be "quote-y" given the contradictory statements made by the band about whether or not Hey Venus! is a concept album. If I cut quotes in the 'background' section I'll only be paraphrasing and I think it's better the band's own words are used to be honest. Cavie78 (talk) 15:18, 28 July 2008 (UTC)Reply
  • On the other hand, critical response is a bit short considering the amount of reviews it received
  • As a result I'm going to fail this (sorry) as I think too much work needs to go in for it to be worth putting it on hold. It's a really good start and I can see it easily becoming FA in time as you've got a lot of the content in there, but a lot of it needs to be moved around and edited to make it more readable. Feel free to renom when you think my concerns have been addressed. And my talkpage is thataway. naerii 13:02, 24 July 2008 (UTC)Reply