Talk:Hedgehog's Dilemma (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Hedgehog's Dilemma (Neon Genesis Evangelion)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Chiswick Chap (talk · contribs) 09:32, 4 May 2021 (UTC)

Comments

A few small initial comments:

• In the first sentence, why not cut the "which is" - there's another "which" in the same sentence ...

Done

• Second Impact links to a disambiguation page, please relink it as desired.

Deleted. There's no article about it or series' terminology.

• In the quote box in Production, why not wikilink Hideaki Anno; in fact, why not add a title to the box, with something like "Series director Hideaki Anno's view"?

Done.

• In the image caption, why not wikilink Arthur Schopenhauer.

Done

• Since the Schopenhauer article is titled Hedgehog's dilemma, which matches the title here, why not link directly to that at least in the lead.

I added a Wlink.

• I guess a brief word somewhere in the Schopenhauer section about a slight taxonomic confusion between the two spiny mammal species would also be in order. (e.g. "variously called the hedgehog's or the porcupine's dilemma"). BTW the Italian "porcospino" makes a lot more sense than the English "porcupine"... Ah, I see this has been done further down in 'Cultural references'; perhaps that needs to be moved up or something.

I also added it in the lead.

• (Not part of the GA process - you might like to add a citation to the sentence about this episode of NGE in the Hedgehog's dilemma article.)

Done

• "a 5.8% rating" ... sounds very low (in fact extremely poor!), if the top score is 100% ... presumably that's not the case, so a brief gloss explaining the rating system would be helpful.

• "notices Shinji Ikari" - "notices that Shinji Ikari ... has run away" would be clearer. You might put the clause "a minor ... pilot," before "Shinji...", it would be more approachable.

• We suddenly meet Toji. Best introduce him first.

Done.

• First sentence in 'Cultural references and themes' - why not cut "which is" and "is".

Done.

• "Cavallaro noticed in the scene ... Van Gogh-style sunflowers appear" - would work better as "Cavallaro noticed that Van Gogh-style sunflowers appear in the scene ...".

Done.

• Maybe say that Bijan is writing on The Verge, and wikilink that.

Done.

• Anime News Network - please wikilink.

Done.

• Psychology Today - ditto.

Done.

• The 'Reception' section is barely mentioned in the lead, barring the incomprehensible rating ... I think we need a few sentences up there summarizing the critics' reactions.

• I see you've done this too, that's fine. Chiswick Chap (talk) 07:34, 5 May 2021 (UTC)

OK, that's about it from me. An excellent article. Chiswick Chap (talk) 10:16, 4 May 2021 (UTC)

@Chiswick Chap: This is an issue that has come up elsewhere as well. Well, it means that 5% of the televisions in Japan were tuned to TV Tokyo, right? So, considering that TV Tokyo and associated channels are visible in only thirteen prefectures, less than half, that's a good result. I wouldn't know how to explain it, though. The sources just report a table and that's it, with almost no text. Do you have any advice? Is there a useful Wlink or other words to explain better?--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 20:41, 4 May 2021 (UTC)

Aha, is that what it means. Well, why not just say "5% of televisions in Japan", to answer the reader's "5% of what?" question. You could add "(over 10% of the televisions in the areas that transmitted the program)" if there's evidence for that. Chiswick Chap (talk) 21:23, 4 May 2021 (UTC)

@Chiswick Chap: Uh. Yeah. I tried with a simple " a 5.8% rating of audience share on Japanese TV". Can it fit? I have not found any sources on the local audience share.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 22:55, 4 May 2021 (UTC)

Yes, that's fine. As all the items are now in order, I'm happy to pass this as a worthy GA. Chiswick Chap (talk) 07:34, 5 May 2021 (UTC)