Talk:Got 'til It's Gone/GA1
Latest comment: 6 years ago by Aoba47 in topic GA Review
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA Review
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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 19:33, 21 February 2018 (UTC)
- Grabbing this for a review. Aoba47 (talk) 19:33, 21 February 2018 (UTC)
- Infobox and lead
- I would fit the formats in the format parameter of the infobox in alphabetical order.
- You include the time in which the song was recorded (i.e. March through June of 1997) in the infobox, but I think that this should be present in the body of the article, and supported with a citation.
- The above comment also applies for the studio parameter.
- While looking throught Joni Mitchell discography page, it seems that she has released singles after this song.
- Please include ALT text for the infobox image.
- In the lead, please shorten “Virgin Records” to “Virgin”
- For this part (for Jackson's sixth studio album, The Velvet Rope (1997).), you can replace “Jackson’s” with “her”.
- For this part (It was written by Jackson herself,), you can remove “herself”.
- This sentence (It was written by Jackson herself, Jam and Lewis, with additional writing by René Elizondo, Jr., Mitchell, and Kamaal Ibn Fareed, while produced by Jackson, Jam and Lewis.) seems rather wordy and awkwardly constructed. I would revise it to flow better.
- I would put the third sentence of the first paragraph as the second sentence (It makes more sense to me to introduce right away that this is a single). I would also remove the album title from the end of the sentence and just say “the album”.
- In this sentence ””Got 'til It's Gone" was considered a massive departure from Jackson's mainstream appeal,”, identify who is doing the considering.
- This part (Jackson's mainstream appeal, striving for a less polished and more authentic alternative hip hop and trip hop-influenced sound.) is rather awkwardly constructed. I am assuming that “striving” is supposed to connect with either Jackson or the song but it is not quite there. I would revise this to read better.
- For this part (Its lyrics talk about a great lesson), I would use a different word than “talk” as I have been discouraged in the past from using that verbage in the context of lyrics.
- Paraphrase this quote ("harder-edged hip hop”).
- I have two comments about this part (with most of them praising its fusion of Jackson's pop style with "harder-edged hip hop", and for its sonic experimentation and revealing theme.). 1) I would shorten the “most of them” part to “most” for more concise language and 2) the “sonic experimentation” seems like it is repeating the information from the first half of the sentence.
- For this sentence (Adversely, the song was also labeled "disappointing" with an "incongruous" appearance from Mitchell.), paraphrase the quotes.
- This part (, being premiered right before the 1997 MTV Video Music Awards.) seems rather awkwardly tagged on the end of the sentence.
- Paraphrase this quote (“masterpiece”). I would avoid using quotes in the lead as a general rule of thumb.
- For this part ("Best Short Form Music Video"), the quotation marks are not needed.
- Background
- Pleae use Janet Jackson’s full name when you first mention her in the body of the article, and add a link.
- Please shorten “Virgin Records” to “Virgin”.
- Please link the Velvet Rope on its first use in the body of the article.
- I would revise this part (she would spontaneously cancel recording sessions, appearing constantly troubled.) to (she would spontaneously cancel recording sessions and appear constantly troubled.)
- If you the term “music video” linked in the lead, it should also be linked in its first use in the body of the article.
- In this part (formats, including Pop, Urban, Rhythmic, and Adult Contemporary/Jazz,), the genres do not need to capitalized.
- Composition and lyrical interpretation
- Unlink Joni Mitchell as she was already linked in the previous section. The same comment applies to Q-Tip.
- For the following sentence ("Got 'til It's Gone" was a departure from Jackson's mainstream pop appeal, striving for a less polished and more authentic alternative hip hop and trip hop-influenced sound.) could you identify who said this?
- As I have noted in the section about the lead, the “striving” sentence construction does not entirely work in my opinion.
- The link for tempo and beats per minute lead to the same article. I would unlink beats per minute.
- For this part (Jimmy Jam spoke of the song's crossover), you can just use “Jam” as you have already introduced him in a previous sentence.
- For this sentence (Jackson revealed that lyrically, "'Got 'Til It's Gone' is about a great life lesson she learned – appreciate what you have while you have it.), the quotation marks around the song title need to be fixed.
- For the audio sample caption, do you have a source to support the “haunting” part? Same question about the “fade” bit and the “vocal loop”? Without sources, it reads like original research.
- Controversary
- I would simplify this part (Right after the release of "Got 'til It's Gone”,) by using “After” rather than “Right after”.
- Critical reception
- This section does not appear to have a strong strcuture. The two paragraphs seem to be a rather random assortment of critics and their quotes. Please look at this resource (Wikipedia:Copyediting reception sections) to better structure this section as a whole.
- Chart performance
- I do not see the relevancy of this image in this section. I would remove it.
- I could not find this part (greatly hindering the song's chart performance despite its popularity on radio) in the source provided.
- Background
- Would a screenshot from the music video be helpful for this section to illustrate what is being discussed in this subsection and the later subsections? I have not seen this music video so I think it could be useful for someone like me.
- Synposis
- I do not understand this part (The video wanders a massive house party).
- For this part ( It has been described as "a great study of the fashion and sensibilities of 1960s pre-apartheid South Africa”), identify who is describing it in this way.
- I would change this part (which represents rebellion against discrimination and racism, celebrating freedom and embracing unity.) to (which represents a rebellion against discrimination and racism and a celebration of freedom and embracing unity.)
- Reception and analysis
- Slant Magazine should be in italics.
- I would include a topic sentence for the first paragraph to give it some additional structure.
- In the second paragraph, the first Vernallis quote is very long and I think it is required under Wikipedia policy for it to be formatted as a block quote. This is the quote that I am referring to ("Romanek's environments somehow suggest both the miniature and the enormous. One feels space in Romanek's videos: a viewer's eyes seek out the set's corners and edges and quilts them to the song's features. One such example is [...] 'Got 'til It's Gone,' The video's dance hall is beige and narrow. To one side a window joins its twin — a similarly long blue-tinged room; murals gird both rooms' walls, or people wearing boldly patterned earthtones line up in tiers along them. These embellishments alongside an underlying structure — tiered people, murals, and duplicated rooms — complicate the video's sense of space, evoking the aforementioned monumentality and miniaturization. "Got 'til it's Gone"'s bass and acoustic guitar, shaped into lilting, wavelike gestures that seem to roll out into a more shallow, nonreverberant sonic and visual field, seem to match the song's space, its textures and colors”)
- Unlink VH1 as it has already been linked.
- Live performances
- If you would like, you could use the image from the “Chart Performance” here instead of the current image. Either image is fine though so it is up to you.
- This part (The song was used as interlude on the 2011 Number Ones: Up Close and Personal.) needs a reference.
- Usage in media
- Novel does not need to be linked.
- The “self-published source” tag needs to be addressed.
- Add the year in which Decoded was released.
- The above comment also applies for The Black Album.
- Cover version
- Great work here
- Track listings
- Reference 85 is not correctly formatted.
- Credits and personel
- Please include the recording locations in this section
- References
- For Reference 24, the title should not in all caps. The same comment applies to Reference 31.
- Final comments
- Great work with this article. Once my comments are addressed, I will look through it again and do an additional round of comments if necessary. Have a wonderful rest of your day and/or night! Aoba47 (talk) 20:11, 21 February 2018 (UTC)
- @Aoba47: Thank you for the review, I think I have addressed all the issues. Alex talk 21:38, 25 February 2018 (UTC)
- Verdict
- Thank you for addressing everything. I will ✓ Pass this as I think that it reached the level of a GA. Great work with this! Aoba47 (talk) 03:34, 26 February 2018 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.