Talk:Goodwin Fire
Latest comment: 10 months ago by 2607:FB91:712:87C1:B238:4F41:F46D:4240 in topic GA Review
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GA Review edit
CaptainEek (talk · contribs) 20:00, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
Howdy Vami, Eek here.
Mayer and Breezy Pines, Arizona,
too many commas in this sentence, and also no need to say Breezy Pines is in Arizona, its redundant. I suggest instead saying "the nearby settlements of Mayer and Breezy Pines".
- In fact, that whole sentence is too long and complex. I'd put a period after June 27.
-
- 'Boldk kk j 2607:FB91:712:87C1:B238:4F41:F46D:4240 (talk) 20:31, 24 June 2023 (UTC)
- Rather than spaced endashes, I suggest unspaced emdashes. While spaced endashes is technically allowed, in my style guide experience, unspaced emdashes is more correct.
Residents of Walker, Potato Patch, Mountain Pine Acres, and Mount Union were issued preemptive evacuation notices
on what day?
The operator was charged with endangering firefighters and their equipment on July 7
Makes it sound like the crime happened on the 7th. Instead, I'd order the sentence as "On July 7, the operator..." or "The operator was charged on July 7..."
- I understand being meticulous with citations, but as a general matter unless something is controversial I try not to put citations in the middle of sentences. Nothing here seems that controversial, so I think all citations can get ported to the end of sentences.
per cent
British English looks decidedly out of place in an article about Arizona :P
total foliage mortality
Wonder if there isn't a Wikilink that could lead to...? Its a technical term that may not be accessible to the average reader.
Further flooding exacerbated by the burn scar was expected in 2018 and in 2022
I don't get this sentence. Was expected? But those dates have already passed. So either the flooding happened, or it didn't. I guess I'm not getting the meaning you intend here?
- Axed. 00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)
- "Goodwin Fire Latest: Now 43 Percent Contained; Highway 69 Reopens Frida" ...missing a y in Friday
- To get this to FA, you'll want to get access to the Daily Courier, the local paper. I will try to get ahold of access for you. If I forget, remind me in a few weeks.
Otherwise, looks good! Nice work. CaptainEek Edits Ho Cap'n!⚓ 20:38, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
- Awesome, that's a pass. CaptainEek Edits Ho Cap'n!⚓ 19:17, 3 January 2023 (UTC)