;General comments
- Two dead links and a few require an update. I highly suggest you to archive them to avoid this.
- The lead is short, not because it doesn't summarize the whole article, but because of the article itself. I read other video albums listed at Wikipedia:Good_articles/Music#Video albums and in comparison this one is incomplete.
- Thanks for the feedback. I took steps to update the article. I looked through the other Video Albums at the link you listed, but the vast majority were released in the last ~10 years (only a small handful were released before that, and even fewer from before 1987, when this was initially released). So I don't have a ton of information to draw from. However, I did my best to create a background/recording section per the feedback below.
- Infobox
- "A picture showing a contemporary portrait David Bowie in front" -> typo.
- 7 & 9 -> WP:&. Anyway remove per Original album release date only.
- The second "David Bowie chronology" has to be in blue not in peach.
- The 2007 Re-release edition is missing WP:ALTTEXT.
- All addressed.
- Lead
- "Directed by David Mallet produced by Anthony Eaton" -> typo.
- "including Peter Frampton" -> who is him?
- "performing on what was called in 2010" -> {{by whom?}}
- VHS and DVD should be linked.
- Link UK Video Charts.
- All addressed.
- Glass Spider Tour
- Done, and I renamed it to 'Background and recording'
- Lead
- Add the most information possible.
- Background
- "The tour features dance choreography by Toni Basil and Peter Frampton on guitar." -> "The tour features dance choreography by Toni Basil, and Peter Frampton on guitar.
- "The tour features dance choreography by Toni Basil" -> "The concert features dance choreography by Toni Basil" (I'm talking about how it is almost a copy-paste)
- Link David Mallet (director)
- Unlink Australia
- "The tour and concert film were named after the track "Glass Spider" from the album" is a very short paragraph.
- All fixed.
- Releases
- Remove the headers because the sections are too short.
- for reasons unknown -> Shouldn't it be "for unknown reasons"?
- program's -> British artist
- "Unfortunately" -> Both, a POV and a weasel word
- "As a result, although the picture quality is superior, the original VHS or 1999 DVD remain a superior choice for audio." -> As written, this is a personal opinion rather than a direct quote.
- All fixed.
- Critical reception
- People -> People
- Pop Matters -> PopMatters
- Record Collector magazine -> Record Collector
- Link the Houston Post and the Toronto Star
- Link The Boston Globe
- "The home video's 'original 1988 release [20 words later] the original 1988 video release"
- The "AllMusic" -> drop the quotes
- "One critic found" -> the link should go way before here.
- Link vignette (to the appropriate place)
- six songs (and at least one vignette) -> You've been using a different style for numbers throughout
- Why you don't mention the other 4 reviews from the infobox?
- nonsensical without quotations becomes your POV.
- ("rock vs reality") -> source says “rock stars vs. reality”
- All fixed. The other reviews not mentioned don't have much to them (they just state facts like "it's almost 2 hours long" or repeat stuff we already know (like that Peter Frampton plays guitar) so they didn't really have anything work including in prose. Still to do: standardize on a number format. I didn't realize my format was drifting.
- Track list
- Although they are not mentioned on the sleeve the original VHS -> "Although they are not mentioned on the sleeve, the original VHS"
- does contain -> contains
- All fixed.
- Chart
- I assumed we always needed a table, which is why it was there, but given that we only have one chart to report (there were no video charts in 1987 that I could find!), I've simplified this to just a prose statement.
- References (current numbers)
- 1: Just use the standard {{cite web}}. Also, "publisher=" is missing
- Fixed.
- Link Live Design.
- Also, the "url=" should be the original dead source, and add "archive-url=", "archive-date=" and "dead-url=yes"
- Fixed.
- Link Entertainment Weekly.
- ", retrieved" -> ". Retrieved"
- "His 1990 greatest-hits tour didn’t sell out across the country, but it still grossed nearly $20 million." Isn't this discussing Sound+Vision Tour (1990) that supported his "greatest-hits" box set Sound + Vision?
- Correct. The previous sentence refers to the GST.
- 5:"work=" is missing (also link it).
- Fixed.
- Use {{cite web}}
- Also, "publisher=" is missing
- "but these plans were dropped for reasons unknown." is not part of the source.
- Fixed.
- 11: It is the same as source 5
- Ah! Fixed.
- Use {{cite web}}
- Source only says "Elvis" not "Aloha from Hawaii"
- Yeah, I guess that's OR. I simplified the statement.
- Use {{cite web}}
- Also, "publisher=" is missing
- It goes nowhere
- Use {{cite web}}
- Use {{cite web}}
- Also, "publisher=" is missing
- Use {{cite web}}
- Also, "work=" is missing
- Use {{cite web}}
- Also, "work=" is missing
- 18: "work=" is missing
- 20:
- Use {{cite web}}
- Also, Chicago Tribune is overlinked
- "TV REVIEW" -> TV Review
- link Los Angeles Times
- What is/are the company that released the VHS and the DVD? It is never mentioned.
- Not done, to do.
- Update on October 11 - I updated the lead with a lot more information and context. I still have to dig up the publisher, will do that soon.
- Lead looks better. AllMovie says "Produced by MPI Home Video". © Tbhotch™ (en-2.5). 22:35, 15 October 2017 (UTC)Reply
- Images and other media
- I'm not entirely sure what this means? Is there a property on the JPG page I have to set? Please clarify, I've done a few GA articles before but haven't been asked to do this before.
- An online source is required for non-free images. The same applies for File:BowieGlassSpiderSE.jpg. © Tbhotch™ (en-2.5). 06:59, 3 October 2017 (UTC)Reply
- Ah. Hm. Ok I didn't know this. These are original scans (not from an online source). From what I've found I don't see an online source with images of the same quality. I will keep looking.
- I did some research - it appears that it's ok to use original scans/photos of covers (from what I read at WP:Non-free use rationale. Not trying to be combative here, I've done a few Good Articles before and none made me go find a URL for photos used. i looked at U2 Live at Red Rocks: Under a Blood Red Sky to try and get a template to use and discovered they don't have it either - so I think it's ok just to use the files we have, which both have fair-use policies attached, and both indicate that they're original scans. Please let me know if you don't agree! Thank you!!
- It's OK then. I'd seen non-free media deleted because there was no single tangible source before, but if policy has changed then keep as it is. However, File:BowieGlassSpiderSE.jpg says the source is David Bowie (if anything he is an author). (change it to either, scan or an online source) © Tbhotch™ (en-2.5). 22:35, 15 October 2017 (UTC)Reply
- Fixed!
- References (revisit)
- Also, link Titan Books.
- Fixed the wikilink, but the page # thing will take some time. I'll get to it this weekend.
- @87Fan: how is this going? © Tbhotch™ (en-2.5). 04:53, 21 October 2017 (UTC)Reply
- @Tbhotch: Thank you so much for your patience! I made edits over the last week or so and I think I wrapped them up today. I updated the footnotes for the Pegg source to use SFN. I've never used that format before, I think I got it right, let me know if I missed something. If any of my new changes are insufficient, please let me know, I'm more than happy to address them. 87Fan (talk) 20:37, 21 October 2017 (UTC)Reply
- Use {{cite web}}
- Also, "publisher=" is missing
- Use {{cite web}}
- Also, "publisher=" is missing
- Use {{cite web}}
- Also, "publisher=" is missing
- Use {{cite web}}
- Also, "publisher=" is missing
- Use {{cite web}}
- Also, "publisher=" is missing
- For the above citations, I fixed what I could - one note is that in editing the article, the citation positions changed, so I couldn't just go looking for, say citation 20 anymore. But I think I updated them all to be appropriate (cite web or cite book or cite magazine) and avoided the general 'citation' template.
- 27: the barcode "09463-90981-2-5" generates no results.
- Yeah I don't really know what this was - I sort of remember typing it in once and wasn't sure why it was different. In any case I found a better barcode for it, and updated accordingly.
- Not sure what I can do about this? Should I find another source as well?
- Sources 27 to 31 are already WP:PRIMARYSOURCES, which are better than tertiary. © Tbhotch™ (en-2.5). 01:24, 24 October 2017 (UTC)Reply
In other circumstances, @87Fan:, I would quick-fail the nomination as it is an article relying on "Critical reception", "Releases" and "Tracks". However, as this has been listed for 9 months, and it is just missing Background and Recording sections, I will left the nomination on hold. Ping me back when more information is added. © Tbhotch™ (en-2.5). 00:29, 28 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
- I really appreciate this. I honestly thought this would be straight forward because there isn't a whole lot of information out there (besides, as you've pointed out, reviews from critics) to build the article from. But I'm happy to make sure it passes review. Let me know what other deficiencies there are (including any of my recent changes) and I will do my best to address them. Thank you!! 87Fan (talk) 20:40, 28 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
- @Tbhotch: Letting you know that my updates are awaiting your review. Thank you!!
- Ok. I'll continue the review when possible. © Tbhotch™ (en-2.5). 20:52, 2 October 2017 (UTC)Reply
- Sorry for continue with this @87Fan:, but "later critics noted that the show changed how other big acts (such as Britney Spears, Madonna, and U2) performed". "big acts" is a POV, and "such as Britney Spears, Madonna, and U2" is not sourced nor mentioned in the body. © Tbhotch™ (en-2.5). 02:42, 29 October 2017 (UTC)Reply
- Re-ping @87Fan: © Tbhotch™ (en-2.5). 19:19, 4 November 2017 (UTC)Reply
- You're quite right! I had put the statement in the lead but forgot to add the reference. I've done so. I also removed the phrase 'big acts'. Thanks again for your patience. @Tbhotch: 87Fan (talk) 17:19, 6 November 2017 (UTC)Reply
Article on hold, @87Fan:. © Tbhotch™ (en-2.5). 06:59, 3 October 2017 (UTC)Reply
- @Tbhotch:Ok I updated the reference to discogs to a primary source. Thank you, this has helped my understanding of the best way to do this tremendously. I believe now that I've addressed all your feedback - please let me know if I missed anything. And, I see you made some edits on your own, thank you for those. Sorry I had missed them. 87Fan (talk) 20:40, 24 October 2017 (UTC)Reply
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