Talk:Gene Derricotte/GA1

GA Review

Hi, I'll be reviewing the article below:

• In the lead, four of the five sentences start with "He..." This should be changed.
  • Thanks.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 12:06, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
• Could you perhaps split his early years and college career into seperate sections? More info would be needed for his early years, but it would improve the article.
  • Since we only have a half a paragraph of pre-college information and no obvious source for more such information, this type of split does not seem acheivable at this time.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 11:30, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
• After the first sentence of "Early years and college," there is an interesting phrase "("Foster Ohio," Chicago Defender, 6 August 1938, p. 22)". And later on "(Richter, 1998)" Are these malformed refs?
  • fix refs.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 12:12, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
    • The article still needs clarification/cleanup on the Richter 1998 references. Is this a book? Something else? Cbl62 (talk) 03:18, 8 July 2008 (UTC)
      • Check the diffs and see who added them. There was a group of professional researchers who lent a hand.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:23, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
• "Oddly, the NCAA recognizes that he had 347 return yards on 14 returns that season (24.8)." needs a ref.
  • This refers to the same ref as the prior sentence. I have added it to this sentence.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 11:34, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
• "Some noted that every Southern AP voter had voted for Notre Dame, which had yet to integrate, whereas three of Michigan's star players (Derricotte, Bob Mann and Len Ford) were African-American." needs a ref.
  • The ref at the end of the paragraph is for the whole paragraph.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 17:26, 7 July 2008 (UTC)
    • Alright. Malinaccier (talk) 17:37, 7 July 2008 (UTC)
• Should the header "Professional career" be changed? He only spent less than a single season in Pro football.
  • No his professional career includes his military career and time in the Dental profession.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 17:30, 7 July 2008 (UTC)
    • Alright, sorry for the misunderstanding. Malinaccier (talk) 17:37, 7 July 2008 (UTC)
• The whole second paragraph of "Professional career" needs references.
  • The unreferenced facts in the paragraph were from a ref at the end of the paragraph. There were probably later additions to the paragraph, which incorporated intervening facts to cause the source confusion.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 11:49, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
• "Derricotte was inducted into the U-M Hall of Honor in 1987." is a one sentence paragraph. This should be incorporated into another part of the article or expanded upon.
  • Rearranged.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 17:30, 7 July 2008 (UTC)
• Another messed up ref at the end of "Professional career"?
  • What do you mean?--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 02:21, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

I'm placing this on hold. Malinaccier (talk) 04:45, 6 July 2008 (UTC)