Talk:Gender inequality in Liberia

Latest comment: 1 year ago by PrimeBOT in topic Wikipedia Ambassador Program course assignment

Suggested Revisions

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Untitled

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Introduction: Are the definitions from Martha Nussbaum/ other philosophers specifically relevant to gender inequality in Liberia? It reads a little out of left field.

Untitled

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Introduction: — Preceding unsigned comment added by Handbag Rat (talkcontribs) 14:43, 6 May 2022 (UTC) “The women of Liberia currently have better standards of living than in 2003.” This seems very vague and may be an unnecessary statement.Reply

Education – Inequalities: “Regardless of sex, if the family is able to pay for a child’s education they are usually steered toward gender specific roles.” Do you mean that they are driven into these roles by the education system itself?

Violence Against Women: This section seems quite broken up. I would suggest combining the first three subsections into a single subsection called “Sexual violence and war”.

Health: I would suggest combining all three of these subsections and simply have the section “Health”.

Lastly, I think it may be effective to place the section “gender roles” more toward the beginning of the article.

Mtdillman (talk) 04:05, 20 April 2013 (UTC)Reply

Peer review

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I really like you outline. The outline illustrates what you’ll be talking about and eases the burden of the reader in finding the information they want. The quality of your writing is also good. You were unbiased and your writing style was excellent.

Your last line in the Women Soldiers section is a little hard to understand. You could rephrase it like this: A woman who resists or refuses to follow a commander’s orders risked being beaten, raped or killed.SioneF (talk) 04:24, 20 April 2013 (UTC)Reply

Peer review

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Great job on your page. The information you have gathered looks great and seems like you have taken a lot of time to put this together. My only suggestion would be to combine some of the your subtopics. I think having so many sub topics makes it hard to get a good flow and in some cases where there are only a few sentence I am left wanting to know more or feel like it could have been combined to another section. Jdoulas (talk) 23:25, 21 April 2013 (UTC)Reply

Feedback

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As the header indicates you need to put in links to other, related Wikipedia articles. This version is a great start but curiously does not reflect any of my detailed edits and suggestions on the workshop version of your article. When you edit the article, and include discussion of the GII, please use the 2013 version of the HDR as your source (see (http://hdr.undp.org/en/media/HDR2013_EN_Statistics.pdf). In my previous comments I had suggested that you integrate the discussion of GII in the lead paragraph, but now I think you may create a separate section to discuss each component of GII. Liberia ranks 143 out of 147 countries on the GII, which is pretty dismal. You could put that overall rank in your lead paragraph, which also needs attention. Importantly, as I mentioned earlier, you need to provide brief background info on the Civil Wars in the lead paragraph for readers to have a better appreciation. Also, I think you should put Education and Health sections together and after the Violence Against Women section, which would come after the new GII section. BerikG (talk) 03:49, 26 April 2013 (UTC)Reply

Improper Synthesis

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The statement that " 75% of women in a survey of 1,000 had experienced some form of (sexual) violence" is an improper synthesis from two consecutive paragraphs from page 4 of the cited AI report. The first of the paragraphs states that the IRC "had assisted almost 1,000 women and girls ... in Montserrado county", i.e, in Liberia. The following paragraph refers to "an initial assessment of information... among Liberian refugees in Sierra Leone", (my emphasis) which must refer to different data from the previous. It is this assessment which is refered to as "the survey" later in that paragraph.

Wikipedia Ambassador Program course assignment

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  This article is the subject of an educational assignment at University of Utah supported by the Wikipedia Ambassador Program during the 2013 Spring term. Further details are available on the course page.

The above message was substituted from {{WAP assignment}} by PrimeBOT (talk) on 17:18, 2 January 2023 (UTC)Reply