Talk:Fluvidona anodonta/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 16:16, 9 June 2022 (UTC)

Happy to review the article.

Review

Lead section / infobox

• Link Charles Hedley; Queensland; habitat; habitat fragmentation; vulnerable species.
• or more commonly known as the North Pine River freshwater snail – improve the prose by putting this in brackets.
• In the text, 'The naturalists Charles Hedley and Charles Tucker Musson', not Hedley & Musson.
• is highly elusive and only can be omitted, as this is evident from the rest of the sentence.
• Convert 2 mm and 1 mm (e.g. with {{convert|2|mm}}.
• of a yellow-whiteish shade – make the text more concise by amending to ‘yellow-whitish'.
• Replace Queensland. The four river systems are the to ‘Queensland: the'.
• I would add a comma after imposed threats.
• species specific is hyphenated.
• I would include (either in the lead or in the main body) the original 1890s drawing, which is available at https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:P._anodonta_(Fluvidona_anodonta).jpg

More comments to follow. I will cross any comments out when you let me know you have addressed them, and ad a small red cross (N) if I think an issue has still not been resolved. Amitchell125 (talk) 20:11, 12 June 2022 (UTC)

1 Discovery

• discovered by Hedley & Musson – ‘discovered by the naturalists Charles Hedley (linked) & Charles Tucker Musson (red linked)’.(cite names using https://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/hedley-charles-6628 and https://conchology.be/index.php?t=9001&id=25627)
• “North Pine River Freshwater Snail” – why is this enclosed in quote marks when it isn’t in quotes in the lead?
• Only the first sentence is about the snail’s discovery. Surely the remaining sentences need to be moved out of this section and placed elsewhere.
• Sampling – am I correct in thinking this could be linked to Sampling (statistics)?
• Southeast Queensland - 'South East Queensland' (linked).
• Since then, scientists have only seen the snail four times – the lead says its has been sighted four times since its discovery, though, which doesn’t quite seem to be the same thing.
• Link North Pine River.
• the Fluvidona anodonta snail - 'Fluvidona anodonta'.

More to follow, but this is starting to look like a big job. Please ping me to confirm you are happy to deal with potentially a lot more comments before i proceed. Amitchell125 (talk) 13:59, 13 June 2022 (UTC)

2 Shape

• Link spire (Spire (mollusc)); whorl (Whorl (biology)); dextral (Sinistral and dextral).
• The title could do with being amended to ‘Description’, as the paragraph describes much more than the snail’s shape.
• The North Pine River freshwater snail – it might it be simpler to refer it as Fluvidona anodonta throughout.
• Convert the measurements as in the lead section.
• Seam and pupiform could both do with explanations.
• Amend 4 to ‘four’.
• The last sentence requires a citation.

Conclusion

I've changed my mind about continuing with the review. Each paragraph is generating too many issues for it to be considered as a GAN at this stage, so I'm going to fail it. If you or anyone else wants to re-nominate the article, the comments in this review will need to be addressed to avoid to being failed again. Amitchell125 (talk) 15:36, 13 June 2022 (UTC)