Talk:Ether One/GA3
Latest comment: 5 years ago by Cognissonance in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Cognissonance (talk · contribs) 22:23, 2 July 2018 (UTC)
I'll get to this as soon as possible. Cognissonance (talk) 22:23, 2 July 2018 (UTC)
Infobox edit
There are no sources confirming the rest of the release dates and, moreover, nothing in the body to do it either.
Lead edit
- "first-person" is consolidated in the adventure game link. I suggest to omit "first-person" in the lead, mention it in the second paragraph, or simply save it for the gameplay section.
- White Paper Games also published it.
- The game was the studio's debut product and was For the sake of flow, remove the second "was".
Gameplay edit
- It should be mentioned (with a source) that it is an adventure game.
- Ref. 2 (PlayStation Blog) is dead.
- "never sure" of This should be amended to something like "not indicated to".
Plot edit
- The player assumes the role of a "Restorer" This was already mentioned in Gameplay. Work the information about what the Restorer does and the company they work for into the other sentence.
- will either make or break Informal saying, should be copy edited to "may decide".
- of dozens of its citizens "of its citizens" is already implied with the use of "dozens".
- They must destroy the stones First only referred to as a singular stone, this sentence should become "They must destroy several of these stones".
- more and more Only one "more" is needed.
- It is also revealed Repeats the preceding "revealed". Perhaps replace with "made known".
- trying to cure himself of his own Repeats the preceding "his own". I suggest to simply omit it.
Development edit
- There is no source here confirming the claim that it is their first game or that it took three years to make.
- Sound composer Nathaniel- Jorden Apostol composed the soundtrack for the game Terrible line. Remove "sound composer" and "for the game" and correct the naming.
- Ref. 12 (DualShockers) is an unreliable source.
- Ref. 13 (PC Gamer) is dead.
Overall edit
Other than what I have already mentioned, the plot and development sections are rife with badly written prose, like cases of WP:POV and "This person stated that". It's clear to me that it requires a rewrite and deep copy edit to satisfy the good article criteria. Until then, I'm not comfortable passing it. Cognissonance (talk) 00:45, 3 July 2018 (UTC)