Talk:Erotica (Madonna album)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 16:58, 18 July 2012 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·

Info box

• Include the Writer parameter

   Not done Aaron • ^{You Da One} 16:21, 22 July 2012 (UTC)

• For the Alt parameter you've written: "Picture of a woman face in a negative tone." But given the album title, Erotica, and that the album is mainly about sex, I would have said her face was more sexual than negative.

 Done 11Jorn ^{leave a message} 19:13, 19 July 2012 (UTC)

Lead

Resolved comments

• Link music critics
• produced by André Betts. → You've already said his name in the first paragraph, so only use his surname from that point on.
• peaking at number two on the Billboard 200 and in the United Kingdom → Instead of mixing a chart and country, either write: on the US Billboard 200 and the UK Album Chart or in the United States and the United Kingdom.
• I'd write where it topped the charts first, not last.
• erotic thriller → Link thriller and write that it is a film.
• a dancer doing topless → This doesn't make sense. Re-word it.

 Done 11Jorn ^{leave a message} 19:13, 19 July 2012 (UTC)

Background

Resolved comments

• 2The first two project" → I think project is mean't to be projects?
• "and co-produce" → produced?
• "(1990), " → (1991) and. You only list two songs, so use and to link the first to the second. You only use a comma if it is for example three: one, two and three.
• Have you got sources or credits to support that he co-wrote those songs two songs?
• "In 1992, Madonna collaborated with Pettibone on "This Used to Be My Playground", the soundtrack of the film A League of Their Own, in which Madonna had role as Mae Mordabito, a baseball player on an all-women's team." → Source for the film info?

• Everything  Done 11Jorn ^{leave a message}

Development

"on his book" → in his book "According to record producer Shep Pettibone" → You said Shep Pettibone in the Background section. You only use their full name once, from then on, you refer to him or her by their surname only. Only link them the first time too.

• "In March 1992, they had fifteen songs. When Madonna travaled to work on her next film Body of Evidence, Pettibone had time to work on some songs with Cathy Dennis and Taylor Dayne." → Source?

  Place a footnote after "fifteen songs." too. Aaron • ^{You Da One} 16:28, 22 July 2012 (UTC)

• "to include in her book, Sex" → Unlink, already been linked in the previous section.

   Not done Aaron • ^{You Da One} 16:28, 22 July 2012 (UTC)

• "Madonna and the producer did the mixing for a song called "Erotic", that she wanted to include in her book, Sex. She felt it should sound the same as 'Erotica', from the album. Pettibone said: "'You have all these great stories in the book [Sex]. Why don't you use them in the song?' I knew that Madonna was developing a 1930s dominatrix look for Erotica, but I didn't realize how far she was willing to go before I saw Sex. It contained stories authored by her mysteriously dark alter, Dita. Madonna took the book and walked out of the room and didn't come back until about half an hour later. Suddenly she was on the mic[rophone], speaking 'My name is Dita,' she said, 'and I'll be your mistress tonight.' I knew that the original 'Erotica' would never be the same again, and it wasn't." Shep Pettibone also said that a cover version of Little Willie John's song called "Fever" substitued a song called "Goodbye to Innocence".[5]" → Is this entire part supported by FN5??

   Not done Aaron • ^{You Da One} 16:28, 22 July 2012 (UTC)

• Everything  Done 11Jorn ^{leave a message}

Music structure and lyrics

Resolved comments

• "It uses uses" → I think you can spot what needs to be cut :)

•  Done 11Jorn ^{leave a message}

Critical reception

• Link music critics
• There are a lot of quotes. Try and paraphrase some. Perhaps follow the quote, paraphrase quote, quote system could be useful?

   Not done Still a load of quotes. Aaron • ^{You Da One} 16:29, 22 July 2012 (UTC)

• Everything  Done 11Jorn ^{leave a message}

Chart performance

• "Erotica debuted at number two on the Billboard 200 on November 11, 1992, selling 167,000 copies on its first week." → Source provided does not say anything about sales of 167,000 copies. You need to find a source, or remove it.

  Where is it in the Behind the Bullet Billboard article? I can't see it. Aaron • ^{You Da One} 16:31, 22 July 2012 (UTC)

• "The album sold 1,893,000 in the United States." → Source provided doesn't mention total sales at all.

• Everything  Done 11Jorn ^{leave a message}

Singles

Resolved comments

• If you are linking singles for the second/third time by this section, then they need to be unlinked. Only ever link the first instance of something. I can see repeat linking here of singles. And for Sex.
• Audio file is fine.

• Everything  Done 11Jorn ^{leave a message}

Promotion

Resolved comments

• "along the song" → You mean alongside the song?

•  Done 11Jorn ^{leave a message}

Legacy

Resolved comments

• Unlink Slant Magazine. Second instance.
• "Upon the title track's release, the Vatican banned Madonna from entering the state and her music was banned on its radio stations." → Source?
• What track are you talking about in the second paragraph?

• Everything  Done 11Jorn ^{leave a message}

Track listing

• No issues.

Credits and personnel

• No issues.

Charts and certifications

Resolved comments

• I've done a slight c/e so the tables conform with WP:ACCESS
• You don't need to link countries in the Certifications table. Already link in the Charts table. Also, perhaps provide the provider like [1].

• Everything  Done 11Jorn ^{leave a message}

References

• There should not be any words written entirely in capitals, see FN48 for example.
• You don't need all those brackets etc., see FN1 for example.
• Missing publishers, see FN2 for example.
• Repetition of linking, see
• MTV News should not be in italics. It's not a printed publication.

   Not done Aaron • ^{You Da One} 16:44, 22 July 2012 (UTC)

• FN21, just put RIAA, not riaa.com
• FN6 Billboard is linked, but it's not the first Billboard in the references. FN4 is.
• FN27, BPI should not be in italics. To force non-italics, put the around it in the work parameter.

   Not done Aaron • ^{You Da One} 16:44, 22 July 2012 (UTC)

• FN36, Billboard should not be linked, please check this for all references, not just Billboard.
• FN39, it's Official Charts Company. No "the", should not be in italics.

   Not done Aaron • ^{You Da One} 16:44, 22 July 2012 (UTC)

• There are inconsistencies with your MTV references. Some are MTV, MTV Networks. Others are MTV Networks, Viacom. (The latter is correct).

   Not done Aaron • ^{You Da One} 16:44, 22 July 2012 (UTC)

• Some work and publisher parameters are not linked the first time, like FN54.
• FN65 is linked, so FN80 should not be.
• Don't italicise music chart organisations.

   Not done Aaron • ^{You Da One} 16:44, 22 July 2012 (UTC)

• Everything  Done 11Jorn ^{leave a message}

Here are more mistakes:

• FN29 doesn't even have a title, it's just a URL
• FN35, FN36 still have italicised chart organisations. They shouldn't be in italics, I said this above.
• FN38, still doesn't say MTV News, Viacom. Worse still, the publisher is italicised. Never italicise the publisher.
• FN39 is repetition of Billboard linking. Also, why is Billboard written twice??
• FN2's Slant Magazine is in italics, but FN63 is not? Shouldn't be italicised.
• Same with FN7 and FN65
• Title's should not be in italics.
• FN1 and FN8 have different publishers for the same newspaper???
• FN90 has no accessdate.

Summary

Quite a lot to do. References need work. I won't fail the article, I'll put on hold for 7 days. But to ensure that I don't fail "American Life (song)" for the same mistakes, please apply these comments and make a c/e of "American Life". I don't want to have to spend time repeating comments I've made here! :-). Aaron • ^{You Da One} 16:13, 20 July 2012 (UTC)

Alright, thanks. 11Jorn ^{leave a message} 21:38, 20 July 2012 (UTC)

You haven't done most of the things I asked. I know I said I wouldn't fail the article, but I would have thought you would have actually done what I asked. You haven't gone through the references or provided sources for things which were ambiguous. You need go right through the article, read things out loud to yourself, and spend time making sure everything is sourced and cited where appropriate, and that your references are correct and consistent. Sorry but I'm failing the article. Please make sure you take note of what I have written and asked and apply it to "American Life (song)", otherwise that could have the same result. Aaron • ^{You Da One} 16:50, 22 July 2012 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·