Talk:Elvis on Tour/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Some Dude From North Carolina (talk · contribs) 13:30, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

Hey, I'm going to be reviewing this article. Expect comments by the end of the week. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 13:30, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

Comments

• Runtime needs a source.

Let's go with the one on the home media version. The other numbers vary plenty.--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• Poster needs alt text and a caption.

Let me know what you think.--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• Remove the comma after Pierre Adidge.

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• "starred on" → "starred in"

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• Is the hyphen between "split-screen" necessary?

Not truly, I think I just been influenced by seeing it written that way in so many 70s publicity pictures (also for other movies). I just went ahead and removed all instances.--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• "hiatus while" → "hiatus where"

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• Remove the hyphen between "bass-guitar".

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• Add serial commas after "Larry Muhoberac (piano)" and "The Stamps".

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• Add a comma before "respectively".

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• Add a hyphen between "one third".

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• "payed Presley" → "paided Presley"

Let's just leave it at paid?--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• Remove the comma after "prepared for the tour".

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• "thy captured" - typo?

Exactly.--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• "With two" → "After two"

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• "cancelled" → "canceled" (American English)

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• "costs of shooting of the film" → "costs of shooting the film"

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• "article closed describing" → "article closed by describing"

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• Resolve the "[clarification needed]" issue in #Reception.

Oh yea, forgot to remove that one.--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• The New York Times → The New York Times

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• The San Francisco Examiner → The San Francisco Examiner

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• Lower the usage of quotes per WP:RECEPTION.

Several paragraphs include only two reviews. Remove quotes and add more reviews.

With that in mind, #Reception might need to be rewritten and expanded entirely.

 Working--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

 WorkingDone with the domestic. I wanted to point out that the reason that some reviews take several paragraphs is that those are the ones belonging to major newspapers. Writers like Vincent Canby (or the LA Times staff writers among others) had an immense reach through their nationally syndicated columns, which were reprinted by most newspapers. They were at the time pretty much considered authorities in film, and still to this day when books mention the reception of films, they focus mostly on their reviews.

That takes us to the next point: At the time, smaller newspapers used to pretty much re-print the same reviews via the news services of say The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, UPI, etc. I added to this article the original reviews, while the rest that I found were just the news wires republished. There are really no other reviews available.--GDuwenHoller! 20:43, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

 Done I trimmed a good deal of the quotations, and I suppose that the ones I left in should be OK now. As I explained above, there is not much to be added that I can find rather than mirrors of the original news wires from major publications.--GDuwenHoller! 18:27, 7 July 2021 (UTC)

• Add a serial comma after "Blu-ray".

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• "$587,818 at the box-office" → "$587,818 at the box office"

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• The Wall Street Journal → The Wall Street Journal

Y--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

• Sort categories in alphabetical order.

: Working--GDuwenHoller! 18:49, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

 Done--GDuwenHoller! 18:27, 7 July 2021 (UTC)

• Mark references from The Wall Street Journal with "|url-access=subscription".

 Done--GDuwenHoller! 18:27, 7 July 2021 (UTC)

Progress

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·

To editor Some Dude From North Carolina: Thanks once again for your work reviewing one of my articles, much appreciated!--GDuwenHoller! 18:23, 9 July 2021 (UTC)