Talk:Elias Abuelazam/GA1
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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 18:45, 24 November 2012 (UTC)
Since this is the oldest unreviewed article, I'll give this a shot. Wizardman 18:45, 24 November 2012 (UTC)
Here are the issues I found:
- Make sure references are right after punctiation without a space (.[2] not . [2])
- "Abuelazam worked at a hospital in Leesburg, Virginia. He worked as a clerk at Kingwater Market in Beecher from July 5 to August 1." sentences can be combined; also what year?
- "minor July 29, the same day a 59-year-old man was stabbed in Flint." If the stabbing is unrelated to Abuelazam then it shouldn't be in the article. Either way this should be cited, and year should be added unless it's the same as above.
- " In total, he was married twice.[1]" is the second wife known?
- " likely for his safety and because he is suspected of extremely violent crimes." not convinced this part is necessary.
- "At his arraignment, he was ordered held without bond by the judge, even after the prosecutor asked for $10 million bail." cite
- Conversely, 2010 doesn't have to be noted in every sentence in the dismised charges section. It can be removed after first mention.
- Nowhere in the dismissed section does it actually note that the cases were dismissed. Either rename the section or add cites to show that.
- I don't believe two non-free images are necessary; the composite should be deleted.
- There are a high number of dead links; see here
Right now, I'm not convinced this article is near GA status. After the issues are fixed I'll give it a second read through. Something about the tone of the article gives me an uneasy feeling, but I can't seem to put it into words. Wizardman 23:31, 24 November 2012 (UTC)
After another read-through, I'm going to fail this, as it does need a lot of work yet. After fixing the above issues, try sending it to peer review before re-nomming at GAN. Wizardman 23:39, 28 November 2012 (UTC)
Any reason to include his current photo? http://mdocweb.state.mi.us/OTIS2/ProfileImage.aspx?mdocNumber=842658 — Preceding unsigned comment added by 74.5.71.186 (talk) 22:07, 8 December 2012 (UTC)