Talk:Eli Parsons Royce/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 09:01, 4 October 2020 (UTC)

Taking this review for the GAN October 2020 Backlog Drive. MWright96 (talk) 09:01, 4 October 2020 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Infobox

• Royce's occupation should begin with a capital letter

Lead

• Clarify Royce was American in the first sentence
• "and considered the founder of Escanaba." - and is considered

Early life

• "Royce was born in Clinton, New York, November 29, 1820." - on November 29
• "Phinehas Royce, was a Quaker and born in Massachusetts." - Perhaps make the text in bold a little shorter like was a Massachusetts-born Quaker?
• I think the second and third sentences can be merged together
• "Royce is their fourth son." - shouldn't it be was?

Career

• Consider merging the first two sentences of the first paragraph
• Use the convert template on the miles measurements
• "like being able" - such as
• "After some time," - how much time exactly?
• "He also taught school for two years." - I'm not sure what is meant by this sentence. Does it mean he taught at a particular school for this period?
• "He got various jobs in Chicago then from 1840 - 1842." - from 1840 to 1842.
• "and worked with him." - what sort of work did Royce do with the Mayor of Chicago?
• "He later returned in the summer of 1849" - per MOS:SEASONS, using seasons to refer to a particular time of the year is not recommended
• "built west to the" - of the
• "and married to Sarah J. Barras," - a word is missing between "and" and "married"
• "There he studied law" - did Royce study law at a particular institution?
• Upper Peninsula is linked twice
• "and is considered the founder" - considered by whom?

Death

• "Royce died May 26, 1912, at the age of 91." - died on May 26,
• Detroit Free Press states he died on the morning of May 26, 1912 from old age

References

• References 6 and 13 are duplicates; only one is needed
• The hyphen in the title of Reference 12 can be replaced by an en dash (–) per MOS:DASH

Will put the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 10:18, 4 October 2020 (UTC)

•  Working on the issues brought up. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:25, 4 October 2020 (UTC)
•  Done all issues above. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:36, 6 October 2020 (UTC)
• @MWright96: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:36, 6 October 2020 (UTC)

• @Doug Coldwell: Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 12:17, 6 October 2020 (UTC)