Talk:Drosophila pseudoobscura

Comment Section

Comments by Krishna Vangipuram (Krish707)

In order to better organize the article, I added some section headings and paragraph headings. I moved text around so that all information under a single heading is relevant and consolidated. In addition, I defined some complex and technical terms like harmful sex ratio so that it would easier for the reader to understand. Furthermore, I added some content relating to general fitness consequences of polyandry based on the research on my organism. I cited all the sources I utilized. Krish707 (talk)

Overall, this article had some very interesting information. My major recommendation for future edits would be to include further section headings and paragraph headings. I would also focus on defining some more technical terms to make it easier to understand for readers. In terms of content, although the general information was good, I believe that fitness consequences must also be mentioned in order to get a broader perspective of how polyandry affects the fitness of a population. Krish707 (talk)

Recommendations for future edits

Where it is stated that females produced by SR males will inherit the harmful X allele (drive allele) in the second subheading in the polyandry section(Harmful Sex Ratio as a Reason for Multiple Matings), it would be helpful to add some description of how this allele is different from the normal allele and what affects this allele has on the females. Also, in the first sentence under the subheading Prevention of Harmful Sex Ratio Spread where it says that polyandry prevents population loss, what polyandry reduces risk of is missing and should be added. AnonARK25 (talk) 17:16, 25 October 2015 (UTC)

Response to Comments

To Krish707, thank you very much for organizing sections by adding headings and subheadings. I appreciate your additional information added on the polandry section. I defined a technical term such as SR so that readers can understand what it is. Since there were lots of repetitive or unrelated materials, I changed some structures and rephrased wordy sentences or ideas in order to make it clear to understand. I changed the subheading from "Prevention of Harmful Sex Ratio Spread" to "Prevention of Extinction" to show the benefits at first. I also removed a section of "Harmful Sex Ratio as a Reason for Multiple Matings" because I felt it was about reporting results from some studies.

To AnonARK25, I removed the parts that you talked about because I thought it made confusion to the readers. But I tried to make it clear to understand this time by rephrasing or adding some sentences.

To Dr. Fowler-Finn, I defined SR as a harmful chromosome to the flies. I also removed all the information which were too technical, and reporting on results of specific studies. Instead, I concluded what the fact was from the studies. I focused on the material for polygamy and its advantages. I rephrased some of sentences and words so that it is not wordy or repetitive. In addtion, I cleared up the part of "Mate Selection as a Fitness Benefit" by connecting it with the material in terms of the advantages that females gain from mating with more males due to ejaculate. Also, the citations are fixed, which were repetitive. Jihyek13 (talk) 10:04, 9 November 2015 (UTC)

Second Round of Peer Reviews

Overall, I think this article was well done and the information presented was fitting and organized in a fashion that was easy to follow. I did make a slight change to one of the sentences in the last paragraph. I reworded, “Population dense areas may have lower rates of polyandry. A larger population tend to be in restricted areas with a limited number of resources.” To “Densely populated areas may have lower rates of polyandry due to environmental restraints such as geographic area and limited resources.” Other than that, I thought the article had no other glaring issues that needed to be changed. The overall article flowed very well and the information that was appropriate and interesting. Great job on the article! ThatEvolGuy (talk) 02:26, 16 November 2015 (UTC)

2nd Round of Comments/Revisions

Development of Polyandry in Drosophila Pseudoobscura I would reword the second sentence. The wording of "polyandrous females can take advantages by enhancing their offspring fitness" sounds awkward and provides no description as to how polyandry enhances their offspring. I recommend describing how polyandrous behavior effects the offspring of females and then go on to talk about the advantages and disadvantages.

Fitness Benefits Prevention of Extinction Good job providing an example of how polyandry effects the D. pseudoobscura population. If I could offer one suggestion here, it would be to expand on how non-SR male sperms outcompete the SR male sperms. Do the actual sperm cells fertilize eggs more frequently? Or do non-SR males outcompete SR males for females?

Increased Net Offspring Survival In the first sentence, reword "or a plenty of suitable sperm for the fertilization." Also, I would not say that "monandrous females produce less adult offspring than polyandrous females do." This makes it sound to the reader that they produce less offspring that are born already as adults. Work on rewording this sentence to emphasize that they produce less offspring that survive into adulthood. Lastly, I would also add an explanation of why polyandry results in more offspring surviving into adulthood.

Mate Selection as a Fitness Benefit How does ejaculating more sperm result in an increase in the survival of the offspring? This needs to be explained further. Also, does the female select for male sperm specifically? If not, what traits do female D. pseudoobscura select for?

Evolutionary Consequences Reword "limit the number of survival and reproduction of offspring" to "limit the survival and reproduction of offspring." Good explanation and example in the second paragraph of this section.

Comments by SLUlax414 (talk) 15:17, 16 November 2015 (UTC)

Final response to comments

To Dr. Fowler-Finn, I changed the location of some sentences so that it flows well. I reworded some sentences and made clear for vague sentences so that readers can understand. I also added cites at the end of sentences which were missing cites. Also, I deleted some sentences which does not make sense.

To SLUlax414, I just deleted the subheading "Development of Polyandry in Drosophila Pseudoobscura" since I felt it is not needed. I reworded some sentences which you said those did not sound right. Also, I added some explanations to make clear understanding for the information.

To all of you, Dr. Fowler-Finn, SLUlax414, and ThatEvolGuy, thank you for making comments for my article. It was very helpful for me to edit and improve my article on polyandry in Drosophila pseudoobscura. I appreciate it! Jihyek13 (talk) 06:09, 10 December 2015 (UTC)

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