Talk:Dragon Age II/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 16:49, 5 October 2018 (UTC)

Opening statement

I am a fan of the Dragon Age universe. Dragon Age II is my favorite game in the series. Truly, it is my pleasure to review this article.

In every review I conduct, I will be making small copyedits. These will only be limited to spelling and punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. For replying to Reviewer comment, please use  Done,  Fixed,  Added,  Not done,  Doing..., or  Removed, followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 16:49, 5 October 2018 (UTC)

Gameplay

• The image of gameplay should have alt-text saying as much via the |alt= parameter.
• (who wields a shield and a melee weapon including maces and swords) Warrior main here. I would change this to: (who wields a melee weapon in both hands, or with a shield)

 Done

• For instance, players can customize a companion's stance to aggressive, [...] To be aggressive? Companions can also be defensive, if I recall correctly.

 Done

• Health, injuries MOS:OVERLINK, de-link.

 Done, but health is linked to the page health (gaming) instead.

That works! –♠Vami_IV†♠ 21:47, 6 October 2018 (UTC)

• after all the enemies Remove "the".

 Removed

• There are five types of items: weapons and armors, crafting recipes, runes, plot items and consumables. I clearly remember picking up and selling an ocean of garbage from every box and sack in Kirkwall...

 Not done, well, you can still sell them, so they are useful in some aspect. The junks you pick up should belong to any one of these types.

"Junk" is its own item category. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 21:47, 6 October 2018 (UTC)

 Done

• Companions' armors cannot be changed, [...] A companion's appearance can change dramatically if fully romanced. Fenris gets that red ribbon, Isabela gets some new duds, Merill's outfit turns white, etc.

 Not done, but you can't actively change their outfits I think.

No can't, but these are dramatic changes in a character's appearance. Except Fenris, who just ties a red ribbon to his wrist, but that's still a change in his appearance. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 21:47, 6 October 2018 (UTC)

But this is not related to gameplay. And I cannot find a reliable source that supports this. AdrianGamer (talk) 12:41, 7 October 2018 (UTC)

Fair enough. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 18:44, 7 October 2018 (UTC)

• Skills such as lock picking for rogues are unlocked automatically when a certain level is reached. Lockpicking, as the source confirms, is dependent on your Cunning score. Locks scale by difficulty in intervals of 10.

 Done

Synopsis

• [...] to the city of Kirkwall. Expand to "city-state," as per the lore.

 Done

• and the center of events that change the course of Thedas. Continents generally move very, very slowly and very free of human action. History, maybe?

 Done

• Also, Delete.

 Done

• with Sebastian for a female Hawke. Only for a female hawk, as opposed to the other four.

 Done

• after which the family takes up residence in the city's Lowtown. With good old Uncle Gamlen!

 Done

• enabling them to relocate to a mansion in Hightown. It is worth mentioning that Hawke, by right of blood, owns that mansion. Gamlen and his deeds are pivotal to the (early) story anyway and should be recounted.

 Doing... - I may need your help on this because I have never played the game. I am not sure how this part impacts the story.

Gamlen is pretty important to the to the early game. The mercenaries and smugglers are his contacts, and his actions matter into Act II. He lost the Amell family mansion through gambling to slavers, which conveniently allows the will to disappear in the mansion's vault. When Leandra (mother) demands to know where it is, Gamlen spills the beans but seriously doubts that they'll ever see it again. Unfortunately for him, you storm the mansion, kill the slavers, and recover the will. From it, you learn that Grandfather Amell not only forgave your mother for leaving Kirkwall with your father, Malcolm, but that he left his entire estate to her. Unfortunately, this news never got back to her because Gamlen took that estate. Acting on this, Leandra petitions the Viscount for the mansion and by Act II, it's yours. Later in late Act II, when your mother is killed by that blood mage serial killer trying to rebuild his wife, Gamlen buries his hatchets to check on you. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 21:28, 6 October 2018 (UTC)

 Done

Development

• BioWare's Edmonton office developed Dragon Age II beginning during the production of Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening. Consider: BioWare's Edmonton office began development of Dragon Age II during the production of Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening.

 Done

• Laidlaw added the gameplay is more tactical in nature as the team overhauled the combo system which prompts players to make use of all the classes' talents. This reads like a quote, but isn't - I checked the source.

Not sure what is the problem here...

• It was criticized for being a too predictable and formulaic hero journey. Delete "too".

 Done

• The team aimed to create art that are "memorable" and stylistic as they addressed a shortcoming of Origins where locales looked largely unremarkable. Art that was memorable?

 Done

• As the game focuses on Hawke's family and their adventures in the world, to reflect this, Remove "to reflect this,".

 Removed

• Hawke must help Tallis infiltrate an Orlesian estate outside Kirkwall Orlais is a little more than "outside Kirkwall."

So it should be an estate in Orlasis? I am not sure.

EDIT: I decided to look this up and as it turns out I was wrong; the estate is in the Vinnmark Mountains, in the Free Marches. Whoops! –♠Vami_IV†♠ 17:26, 6 October 2018 (UTC)

Release

• Available at no cost to those who purchased a new copy of Dragon Age II, I know you're referring to the Dark Emporium, but it's not mentioned.

 Done

Critical reception

• Critics had varied opinions on the game's dialogue system. Split this off part of paragraph three into another paragraph; it discusses a gameplay element, whereas previous prose discussed DA2's story.

 Done

GA progress

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

@Vami IV: - Thanks for the review! I am also a huge fan of the series, though Origins is the only one I have played. I think I have fixed most of the issues you have raised, though I may need your help with the plot section. I have never played the game before. AdrianGamer (talk) 12:27, 6 October 2018 (UTC)

@Vami IV: - I think I have fixed your remaining concerns. AdrianGamer (talk) 12:41, 7 October 2018 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.