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Oranization into sections
editHi Mimi,
Your article does look like a fun topic to work on! I love dancing myself; I was even in a can-can once, in the ballet Gaîté Parisienne, where I danced the shy debutante. I haven't danced ballet in some years now, but I like most other types of dancing; I just have to remember to avoid being too stiff or turning my toes out too much. ;)
I think the first thing to do for your article would be to group your sentences into sections and paragraphs, so that it has a good flow? You want your reader to be drawn into Dixie's story, and to be carried on its flow. If you don't mind, I'll make a first pass, and then you can correct whatever mistakes I made or whatever you didn't like. I'll also try to add some categories.
One thing that would be helpful would be if you would add inline citations for the various facts in the article? I see that you have lots of sources at the bottom, which is great. What would help is if the source were tied to the fact it describes? You can do that by adding the source just after the fact, inbetween a "[1]" tag. I'll make an example, so that you can see how it works.
We're off and running! :) Hoping your trade-show went well, Willow (talk) 17:01, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
References
- ^ " and "
Part of the fun
editHi Mimi, I'm sure that you want to be part of the fun, so here are some things you might consider working on on. :)
First, Wikipedians generally use the last name, rather than the first, after they've introduced their subject. I know that it's much less personal to say "Roberts" than "Dixie", but that's the custom. So I would change
Second, we need more information about the references and what facts are in them? For example, if you could get their author names, page numbers, etc. that would be great.
Third, I foresee that some people will want evidence that Dixie was notable, that she was talked about in her own time. I see that you've done that, but you might want to compile evidence for defending that. Some glowing reviews of her tap-dancing would be helpful, I think.
I have to go, but hoping that this help, Willow (talk) 17:33, 15 February 2008 (UTC)