Talk:Disciplining gendered bodies
Untitled edit
This was some very informative information that you added to this article. I went through and added some transitions (of, they) to help some sentences flow better. Changed appeasing to 'alluring' to fit the context better after looking up the definition. Then re-worded some sentences to help the sentences flow better. Overall very good job on strengthening this article.
Peer Review: Overall, the article has been strengthened and I think your additions were spot on. I like some of the terms you added (binary, actions and performances) throughout the article because I think that language is important to include. The changes in line 10 made sense... nice work there. Also, does the addition to line 10 require a citation? (Maybe I just cannot see it on your edits). Love the paragraph to line 12. Line 16: change the current tense to make present tense. In line 4, the addition of the definition was fitting and appropriate, especially due to the class discussion. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Hilary Brodeur (talk • contribs) 19:57, 26 April 2016 (UTC)
Peer Review 2: I agree very nice article that brings up a lot of good points. You do a really nice job of explaining and defining what your article is about. Your article seems to be pretty well polished, but I would suggest a minor change.
In the sentence Females are concerned about how they look, what they wear and they desire to be attractive,[3] and thus go to great lengths to make sure that they feel and look attractive and polished
After wear i think there should be a comma or reword this part. It seems to become a very long sentence and in the middle it just did not flow when I read it. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Amadlom (talk • contribs) 01:21, 27 April 2016 (UTC)
In the Embodied Space section in the 3rd line i changed the to they. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Amadlom (talk • contribs) 01:26, 27 April 2016 (UTC) I would change the following sentence fragment from the last paragraph.
your words were and when male sits in the chair they sprawl out and legs are spread.
male should be males and possibly break the 2 genders into two sentences. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Amadlom (talk • contribs) 01:31, 27 April 2016 (UTC)
I would also change this sentence in your last paragraph of the 3rd section. The following line is what it currently states: Females experience their bodies in more guarded way than males and males are taught to use and abuse their bodies.
I would change the males and males portion. Using the same word two times so quickly it made it harder to follow. Either break it into two sentences or change the wording on the one sentence.
The article was very informative and with a few changes you should do great. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Amadlom (talk • contribs) 01:38, 27 April 2016 (UTC)