Talk:Dilaw (song)
![]() | Dilaw (song) was nominated as a Music good article, but it did not meet the good article criteria at the time (August 28, 2024, reviewed version). There are suggestions on the review page for improving the article. If you can improve it, please do; it may then be renominated. |
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Did you know nomination
edit
- ... that "Dilaw" was a dominant song in the Philippines and gained international recognition?
- Source: ABS-CBN, Billboard Philippines
- ALT1: ... that "Dilaw" reached the top spot on Billboard Philippines Hot 100 and Top Philippines Songs chart and entered the Spotify Global Chart at 200?
- Source: ABS-CBN NEWS. Billboard Philippines
- ALT2: ... that the creator of "Dilaw" is a leading OPM artist with the most listeners on Spotify?
- Source: ABS-CBN CORPORATE, TRIBUNE
- Reviewed:
- Comment: The title of Dilaw (Maki song) changed to Dilaw (song).
Royiswariii (talk) 16:01, 23 August 2024 (UTC).
- Not a review, but the hooks are a bit suspicious. The hooks have a summary of the song, which isn't regularly added to hooks, maybe trim like this? ALT0:... that "Dilaw" was the dominating song in the Philippines and international too? and ALT1: ... that "Dilaw" was entered on Billboard Philippines securing the number one spot, and the Spotify Global Chart entered at number 200? and I also saw two "hooks" in alt1, which can be added here, ALT2: ... that the creator of the song Dilaw is a male OPM artist with the most listeners on Spotify? Thanks,
🍗TheNuggeteer🍗
11:53, 24 August 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks for your suggestion @🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 I'll fix the Hook. ALT1 and ALT2. Royiswariii (talk) 04:30, 25 August 2024 (UTC)
GA Review
editThe following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Dilaw (song)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Nominator: Royiswariii (talk · contribs) 13:18, 25 August 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk · contribs) 03:50, 26 August 2024 (UTC)
Rate | Attribute | Review Comment |
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1. Well-written: | ||
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. | "The song charted at number one on the Billboard Philippines Hot 100 and Spotify Philippines Weekly Top Songs Chart, garnering three million streams in its first week and making Maki the male OPM artist with the most listeners on the music service platform."
This sentence is a bit long, is there any way you could split it up? CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) "The EP explores themes of uncertainty and emotional turnoil that comes with dealing with confusion and heartbreak after losing love." I feel like this sentence could be reworded to flow better. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) "iTunes Philippines Top songs chart." Does "Top" need to be capitalized? If so, should "songs" and "chart" also be capitalized? CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) I had to do a bit of copyediting here. Just a reminder that when using acronyms its best to use the full term the first time you use the acronym. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) | |
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation. | The lede of this article needs to be significantly expanded before it can pass good article criteria. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 03:50, 26 August 2024 (UTC)
While I see that you have expanded the lede a bit more I still think it is too short. Remember that most readers only read the lede, so you want most of the important info in the lede. For this article I would recommend adding info about the background (eg. Dilaw was released after the album album Saan?), who produced and composed the song when the song was released and announced, a bit about the music video, its reception and it's performance. Your lede should ideally be about 4 paragraphs of information from the body of the article. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 21:34, 26 August 2024 (UTC)
I still believe the lead is a bit too short. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) | |
2. Verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check: | ||
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. | CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 21:34, 26 August 2024 (UTC) | |
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). | A number of your sources are from facebook. These are not generally considered reliable sources. I encourage you to look for more appropriate sources wherever possible. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 03:50, 26 August 2024 (UTC)
"The song's release generated excitement among fans and quickly became a highlight of his discography, showcasing his continued growth and appeal in the music scene." This is not backed up by your source. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) ""Dilaw" is three minutes and twelve seconds pop song set in the key of A, with a tempo of 126 beats per minute." You could remove your 5th ref here as your 6th ref backs up the length of the song. Additionally, neither of these sources call it a pop song however I'm not sure if that needs to be cited. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) "composed by Ralph William Datoon" This is not backed up by your source. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) "The song was crafted through a collaborative effort, with Maki playing a central role in the creative process, ensuring that the final product reflected his artistic vision" This isn't fully supported by your source. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) "A social media user speculated that Maki would release a new single titled "Dilaw", noting that he had recently performed it in Concepcion, Tarlac" Again I'm not sure if Facebook comments are considered a reliable source here. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) I was able to access and verify all other sources. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) | |
2c. it contains no original research. | Per above. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) | |
2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism. | All writing was put into authors own words. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) | |
3. Broad in its coverage: | ||
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. | "The song was crafted through a collaborative effort, with Maki playing a central role in the creative process, ensuring that the final product reflected his artistic vision"
Is there any way you could expand on this process? CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) "Maki first teased "Dilaw" on April 27, 2024, by changing his Facebook profile picture to a solid yellow image." It's not really clear to me how changing his profile picture teased the release of the song. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) "effectively blends storytelling with visual artistry, enhancing the song's themes of romance and personal growth." How does it effectively blend storytelling with visual artistry? CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) "Maki's character gradually brings color—both literally and figuratively—into Maloi's character's life, symbolizing the blossoming romance between them." How does Maki's character bring color into the other characters life? CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) "The video includes scenes of the duo engaging in creative activities and exploring their surroundings, reflecting their deepening connection." What kind of creative activities? What surroundings are they exploring? CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) | |
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style). | I believe this passes but I will need to seek out a second opinion regarding the "Background" section. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) | |
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. | The article does kind of come across as if it is written by a fan however I will again need to seek out a second opinion here as I am not sure if it crosses the line. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)
I wasn't sure where to put this but this statement seems odd: "Writing for Billboard Philippines, Gabriel Saulog praised "Dilaw" for its "emotional resonance and heartfelt lyrics"" Is "Gabriel Saulog" notable enough to be mentioned by name? CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC) | |
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. | CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 21:34, 26 August 2024 (UTC) | |
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio: | ||
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. | CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 21:34, 26 August 2024 (UTC) | |
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions. | CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 21:34, 26 August 2024 (UTC) | |
7. Overall assessment. | I'm not sure what my final decision is here and I will have to seek out some opinions from more experienced reviewers. First off I want to thank @Royiswariii: for being so open to my suggestions thus far. However I found quite a few issues with this article. The lead is quite short in comparison to the article and not what I would expect when reading a GA. Additionally a lot of the sources are from Facebook. While I understand that it can be hard to find reliable sources it just seems odd to cite facebook comments. There was some times that what was written in the article didn't exactly match the sources however I think this could be easily fixed. Probably one of the biggest things for me was that I noticed while reading through the sources that there was quite a bit of information left out of this article. I encourage the nominator to go back through their sources and see what more they could add to this article. Another thing that I noticed is that this article reads as if it is written by a fan of the artist. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)
Royiswariii (talk) 00:20, 28 August 2024 (UTC) (GA Nominator) I unfortunately have decided to fail this nomination. While I do want to thank the nominator for being receptive to feedback and engaged in the review process I just feel that the article is a long way from meeting GA status. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 01:19, 28 August 2024 (UTC) |