Talk:David Clyde

Latest comment: 10 years ago by Secret in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

This review is transcluded from Talk:David Clyde/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 10:48, 5 August 2013 (UTC)Reply

Comments

  • Per WP:YEAR, 1973–75.
  • "which ended at age 26 because of arm and shoulder injuries" and "he retired from baseball at age 26." ending the first and second para, somewhat repetitive.
  • "Oddly enough, ..." not encyclopedic.
  • Suddenly, you reference a couple of sentences at the end of the lead but none of the rest of it. Why?
  • Texas Rangers is a WP:DAB link.
  • So is perfectionist.
  • "18-0" should be 18–0, but what does that mean to a non-expert like me, I'm guessing it means he played in 18 games and the team won all of the them?
  • Publications like Sports Illustrated should be italicised.
  • "some of whom billed Clyde as the "next Sandy Koufax"" some? Or just one in particular?
  • Eastern League is a dab link too.
  • Hall of Famer - which HoF?
  • "35,000+" -> over 35,000 fans.
  • "a rusty beginning" a little colloquial for an encyclopedia.
  • If you link strike out, I'd link home run.
  • After saying "earned run average" put (ERA) so when you then use the abbreviation on its own, it'll be clear what it means.
  • " with 3-9 record" a 3–9 record.
  • Check the other records.
  • "18-33 win-loss" 18–33 win–loss record.
  • "sensation[6][12]," refs after punctuation, quotes in quote marks.
  • "due in part because of" due to, not due because of.
  • "the New York Times" that's The New York Times.
  • " ex teammate" ex-teammate
  • Category for Sacramento Solos, I don't read anything about that in the article.

A few items to address so I'll put the item on hold for a week. The Rambling Man (talk) 13:28, 5 August 2013 (UTC)Reply

I think I got everything. Thanks for the review. Secret account 19:03, 6 August 2013 (UTC)Reply