Talk:Daphne Clarke/GA1

Latest comment: 10 years ago by JuneGloom07 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Lemonade51 (talk · contribs) 23:48, 30 June 2013 (UTC)Reply

I'll review this. Never watched Neighbours in its early days (only took full interest when the Kennedy's arrived), so this will feel like an education for my behalf. At first glance, this comfortably meets the criteria; just to find some niggles...

  • Under 'Creation and casting', wikilink Elaine Smith.
  • "Smith told Hilary Kingsley, author of Soap Box'" remove apostrophe
  • "The fact that she was not embarrassed by her profession as a stripper and her "no-nonsense approach" to life, made Daphne an immediate favourite with viewers", reads a bit fragmented. Perhaps consider, "The fact that she embodied a "no-nonsense approach" to life and was not embarrassed by her profession as a stripper, meant Daphne became an immediate favourite with viewers."
  • "She felt that while Daphne had been "a bit of a challenge at first", she felt trapped by her persona." needs direct ref because of the quote.
  • "Daphne's briefly suffers from postnatal depression following Jamie's birth" remove personal possessive
  • "Daphne later decides to nurse her father and she takes Jamie to stay with him. Months later..." repetition
  • Ref 16, 24 and 25 need location parameters filled in.

No dab or dead links. A really well-written article, which is both clear and comprehensive. On hold for a week. Lemonade51 (talk) 23:48, 30 June 2013 (UTC)Reply

Thank you Lemonade51 for taking the time to review this article. I believe I have corrected everything. Although I do have one small query; should it be countries or cities in the location parameter? I wasn't quite sure and went for the latter in the end. - JuneGloom Talk 00:38, 1 July 2013 (UTC)Reply
Cities. Happy to pass now. :) Lemonade51 (talk) 10:28, 1 July 2013 (UTC)Reply
Thank you! - JuneGloom Talk 11:35, 1 July 2013 (UTC)Reply