Talk:Daniel Cragin Mill/GA1

Latest comment: 3 years ago by The Rambling Man in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 14:14, 24 March 2021 (UTC)Reply


Comments

  • "Originally built 1817" but not founded until 1858. What was the building used for in the intervening 41 years?
  •   Done Since the building was originally built by Eliphalet Putman and was near the Putnam Bobbin Factory, it probably was used in connection with that factory. Daniel Cragin purchased this "existing small building" in 1858 from Eliphalet and founded his own business then in this building.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:36, 25 March 2021 (UTC)Reply


  • "the small town" small is in the eye of the beholder.


  • "produced unique woodenware" sounds a bit sales pitch, lose "unique".


  • "wooden boxes used for dry measuring boxes." repetitive, would "wooden dry measuring boxes" work?



  • "At the age of 21 in 1856 he was" -> "In 1856, aged 21, he was..."


  • "The watermill was run on water power" this is kind of self-explanatory, the very definition of a watermill really.


  • I would put the "The building was originally..." bit near the "existing building" part and reorganise.


  • Link quart, peck, bushel.


  • "reasonably priced" POV, is this a quote?


  • "southern" what does that mean in this context?
  •   Done Reworded the sentence (with ref) and "southern" is no longer used. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:34, 26 March 2021 (UTC)Reply


  • Where is the area (4 acres (1.6 ha)) ref'ed?


  • "water-powered mill" not really an architectural style.


  • "Colonial (1600–1820)" that's not really mentioned in the article and why the year range? Link?


  • "educated in engineering at ... an engineering degree" linked engineering second time, but a bit repetitive anyway to say it twice in one sentence.


  • Ref 6 needs date/accessdate


  • Ref 8 year range needs an en-dash.


  • ref 9 date format should be mdy.


  • Ref 10 needs date/accessdate.


  • Ref 11 likewise, and publisher/website.


  • Ref 12 need en-dash in title and date format should be mdy.


  • Seven external links seems excessive, is there any detail in those that could be incorporated into the article?


  • Middle ext link is marked as dead.


That's it, on hold. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 15:34, 25 March 2021 (UTC)Reply