Talk:Cyclone Berguitta/GA1

Latest comment: 2 years ago by LightandDark2000 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

LightandDark2000 🌀 (talk) 14:21, 3 July 2021 (UTC)Reply


This article is extremely well-written. However, I did find a handful of minor issues. LightandDark2000 🌀 (talk) 14:21, 3 July 2021 (UTC)Reply

Lead
  • Intense Tropical Cyclone Berguitta was a strong tropical cyclone which caused catastrophic flooding in Mauritius and Réunion in January 2018. There is no comma used (or needed), so "which" should be changed to "that".
  • The third system and first Intense Tropical Cyclone of the 2017–18 South-West Indian Ocean cyclone season, I won't make this one a requirement, but I would suggest changing "system" to "tropical system".
  • as it moved southwards Change "southwards" to "southward".
    •   Not done, "southwards" is an adverb while "southward" is an adjective. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 03:07, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • Berguitta then rapidly intensified to achieve its peak intensity on 15 January while stalling north of Rodrigues. Add a comma after "15 January".
    •   Not done – commas shouldn't be used after a main clause when it's succeeded by a dependent clause. See section 2. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 03:07, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • A weakening trend commenced as Berguitta began crawling west-southwest on 16 January and the cyclone degraded to a tropical storm by 17 January. Add a comma after "16 January".
  • as it accelerated southwest Change "southwest" to "southwestward".
    •   Semi-done, changed to "southwestwards" for reasons listed above. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 10:37, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • before degenerating to a post-tropical cyclone on 19 January as environmental conditions became more hostile. Add a comma after "19 January".
    •   Not done – comma shouldn't be used before a dependent clause; see above. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 03:07, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • later transitioned to an extratropical cyclone Change "to" to "into".
  • then affected Mauritius's main island The main island should be named and have its article linked.
    Never mind. It appears that the main island has the same name and shares the same article. LightandDark2000 🌀 (talk) 14:21, 3 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • More protests ensued several months later when families were evicted from evacuation centres before receiving houses that the government had promised them. Add a comma after "several months later".
    •   Not done – comma shouldn't be used before a dependent clause; see above. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 03:07, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • was particularly hard hit Hard-hit should be hyphenated.
Meteorological history
  • became better defined Change "better defined" to "better-defined". It should be hyphenated.
    •   Not done. See MOS:HYPHEN point 3.3 – the descriptive phrase ("better defined") is separated from the noun ("circulation"). ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 10:37, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • before a large burst of thunderstorm activity Link thunderstorm.
  • MFR classified the system Change "MFR" to "The MFR".
  • Moderate Tropical Storm Berguitta. Since you're italicizing the storm's name while also including its title, I would italicize its full name. So change this to "Moderate tropical Storm Berguitta".
  • Rapid development began by 15 January as Berguitta became nearly stationary, with MFR and JTWC both noting the system to have reached tropical cyclone intensity early that day. Add a comma after "15 January". Also, if "rapid development" refers to rapid intensification, then it should be linked to the article.
    •   Partly done – linked RI. Comma not included as it would separate a dependent clause from the main clause; see above. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 03:07, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • with MFR and JTWC Change to "the MFR and the JTWC". Grammar.
  • with MFR estimating Same issue here. Change "MRF" to "the MRF".
  • drift west-southwestwards Change "west-southwestwards" to "west-southwestward".
  • Pronounced weakening commenced on 16 January as Berguitta's eastern eyewall eroded, due to dry air in the storm's northwest quadrant entraining into its circulation. Add a comma after "16 January".
  • leading MFR to declare Change "MFR" to "the MFR".
  • Consequently, further slow weakening occurred and MFR assessed that Berguitta's winds bottomed out at 75 km/h (45 mph) as it moved through the Mascarene Islands. Add a comma after "occurred". Also, change "MFR" to "the MFR".
  • MFR assessed that. Same as the above.
  • Berguitta remained relatively steady-state, This phrase is a little unclear. I would elaborate some more for those who may not be familiar with the term.
  • MFR declared the system post-tropical at 18:00 UTC on 19 January as it began accelerating southwards, pulled by an upper-level trough in the midlatitudes. There are a fw issues here. First, change "MFR" to "The MFR". Add a comma after "19 January". And also link "post-tropical" to post-tropical cyclone.
  • Thunderstorm activity became increasingly limited on 20 January and the JTWC assessed that Berguitta had transitioned to a extratropical cyclone by 18:00 UTC. Change "to a" to "into an".
  • last noted by MFR Change "MFR" to "the MFR".
Effects in Mauritius
  • This was upgraded to a Class II cyclone warning on 14 January as Berguitta strengthened and moved closer to Rodrigues. Add a comma after "14 January".
  • A 108 km/h (67 mph) wind gust was recorded in Patate-Théophile and a gust to 102 km/h (63 mph) was observed in Pointe-Canon. Add a comma after "Patate-Théophile".
  • to close from 13 January, Unless you include an end date, use "on" instead of "from".
    •   Not done. From how I read it, "close on 13 January" would imply the airport was only closed on 13 January which wasn't the case (it reopened on 18 January). ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 10:54, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • leading Air Mauritius to cancel flights to the island which left 50 Mauritians and tourists stranded. Add a comma after "island".
    •   Semi-done. I went and split the sentence since it had too many conjunctions. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 10:54, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • All cyclone warnings in Rodrigues were lifted on 15 January as Berguitta moved away from the island, Add a comma after "15 January".
  • further upgraded to Class III I would change "to Class III" to "to a Class III warning".
  • MFR originally expected Change "MFR" to "the MFR".
  • beginning 17 January. Change to "beginning on 17 January."
  • after suffering a head injury on 17 January when falling off a ladder. Add a comma after "17 January".
  • Firefighters responded to nearly 200 distress calls on the morning of 17 January and another 106 overnight from 17 to 18 January, Add a comma after "17 January".
  • Water supplies to Port Louis were disrupted on the morning of 18 January after mud clogged filters at a water treatment plant. Add a comma after "18 January".
  • This led to a shortage of vegetables on the island and vegetable prices were expected to rise by 20 to 25 percent. Add a comma after "island".
  • with the exception of one primary school which reopened a day later instead. Add a comma after "primary school".
  • South Africa, India, and Egypt, Link South Africa, India, and Egypt.
  • three times a week for free beginning in February. Add a comma after "for free".
  • The Prime Minister's Office called on the public and private sectors to contribute to the Prime Minister’s Cyclone Relief Fund as it was expected that repair works across the island would be too costly for the government to fund alone. Add a comma after "Cyclone Relief Fund".
  • to better handle cyclones and climate change, Link climate change.
Effects in Réunion
  • as initial forecasts by MFR Change "MFR" to "the MFR".
  • were closed from 16 January as the weather deteriorated. Change "from" to "on". Also add a comma after "16 January".
    •   Not done for both, same issues as mentioned above. Can't find when the facilities reopened, though. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 10:54, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • hurricane-force winds, Link "hurricane-force" to Beaufort scale.
  • enacted increasingly stringent preventive measures "Increasingly-stringent" should be hyphenated.
  • Réunion was buffeted by heavy rains and gusty winds on most of 18 January as Berguitta passed 55 km (34 mi) east-southeast of the island. Add a comma after "18 January".
  • Roads were obstructed by fallen trees and landslide while bridges washed out by swollen rivers; Change "landslide" to "landslides". Also add a comma after "landslides".
    •   Partly done. Comma between independent and dependent clauses not added, see above. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 03:07, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • The agricultural sector suffered significant damage as the heavy rains caused landslides and oversaturated the soil, Add a comma after "significant damage".
  • The orange alert was lifted by 19 January as Berguitta moved away from Réunion and weakened, Add a comma after "19 January".
  • The town of Cilaos was left cut off for several weeks as constant rockfalls and landslides during and after Berguitta repeatedly blocked the Route de Cilaos, Add a comma after "several weeks".
    •   Not done because of independent/dependent clause shenanigans. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 10:54, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • exceptionally dangerous conditions. Change "exceptionally dangerous" to "exceptionally-dangerous", since this is an adjective.
Copyvio check
Source review
  • No issues here. However, I would recommend archiving some of the news article sources.
    • I recall trying to run IABot a few weeks ago, but it jammed and I haven't tried again. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 10:54, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
      • LOL!

@LightandDark2000: I have issues with many of your comma recommendations as most of them aren't necessary and serve to break the flow of the prose. I should be done with everything else, though. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 10:56, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply

Final edit

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):   d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  
    I am going to  Pass this article. Congratulations on another GA! LightandDark2000 🌀 (talk) 14:16, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply