Talk:Crocodile (Black Mirror)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 07:34, 18 March 2021 (UTC)

Comments

• Anthony Welsh has an article now.
• "Set in Scotland" really? They're driving on the wrong side of the road for that!
  • I actually got this wrong, not sure where the misremembering/miscommunication was. The first draft was set in Scotland but I think it's supposed to be Iceland in the actual thing. I am confused though: Sawar's accent is Scottish and I thought Riseborough's was supposed to be too, and they're speaking in English, not Icelandic. — Bilorv (talk) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
• "a Nordic noir" isn't that really an adjective rather than a noun?
  • So just "The episode is Nordic noir" then? I think it is an adjective, yeah. — Bilorv (talk) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
• "she never moved on" I'm not keen on this, do you mean she didn't get over it, never recovered from the loss etc? Ah, she still thinks he's alive...
  • I would be more specific but I don't think there's actually enough to say. She never moved on from her physical location and in some emotional sense, but she could think anything between "he's probably dead but I can't accept that" and "I know he's still out there and will come back one day". — Bilorv (talk) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
• "He wants to write" it's stronger than that, hence the argument, he states clearly that he is going to write a letter...
• "she chokes Rob to death" it sounds like she breaks his neck actually.
  • Hmm, something does snap or break, yeah. I've made this change. — Bilorv (talk) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
• "who points her to " directs her to?
• "a beer" a bottle of beer? Or just "beer"? "a beer" seems a little odd.
• Probably hard/impossible to avoid, but Mia is used five times in that penultimate plot paragraph.
  • Down to three, hopefully clearer too. — Bilorv (talk) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
• "having removed her mask" we didn't know she was wearing one...
• "outbid .. with a bid" bit repetitive.
• "12-episode order was divided into two series of six episodes" twelve/six or 12/6.
• "in the final episode" ?
  • As in, "the finished product". Now "who was later renamed Shazia and played by Kiran Sonia Sawar". — Bilorv (talk) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
• "the arcade machine for Space Invaders in mind" hmm, like the symbol that's prevalent in Bandersnatch, the kind of space invader/fork graphic...
  • It reminds me more of the monitor Stefan uses than Space Invaders or anything else in Bandersnatch, but to each their own. — Bilorv (talk) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
• "injured half of her ribcage" half? seems like an odd thing to say. Just injured her ribs would probably suffice.
• "is an instance of Nordic noir" again, is it an instance of a Nordic noir drama rather than "instance of Nordic noir".
• "the Recaller. Koebler suggests that" merge to avoid repeat of Koebler. Also two rapid uses of "suggest" here.

That's it, not much to do here, so on hold for now. Mia: what a deeply unpleasant character. Reminds me of some users ...!! The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 16:47, 18 March 2021 (UTC)

All fixed, I think, including a self-trout on the Scotland mistake. I'd like to think that any of our Mia-like users wouldn't forget the guinea pig. — Bilorv (talk) 00:11, 19 March 2021 (UTC)

All is well here, passing. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 07:14, 19 March 2021 (UTC)