Talk:Crippled Summer/GA1

Latest comment: 14 years ago by TimothyJacobson in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Xtzou (Talk) 19:15, 4 May 2010 (UTC)Reply

Hi, I am reviewing this article for GA. I have done some minor copy editing and have the following comments to make.

Comments
  • Towelie - I don't get him. What does he look like? A towel? - okay, now I've watched the episode, but I still think a little more could be explained in the article.
  • "excessive use of marijuana, crystal meth, heroin and crack cocaine" - would not any use of heroin and crack cocaine be considered excessive, for example?
  • "soliciting oral sex to strangers for money in the alleys" - this doesn't sound right - "solicit from"? "offering oral sex to strangers"?
  • "The boys set up Towelie to go in a room so they can give emotional speeches to him as a plea to help him from killing himself" - very involved sentence. Can you leave out "to go in a room"?
  • "He refuses their pleas until Butters reveals Towelie's child" - Towelie didn't know about his child?
  • "Later, it is discovered that Towelie completed rehab" - passive voice; who discovered?
  • "but is repeatedly foiled from Mimsy misinterpreting his instructions" - repeated foiled by?
  • "Parker and fellow series co-creator Matt Stone originally planned for the tenth season episode "A Million Little Fibers" to be about Towelie's struggle to overcome addiction in the style of the television series Intervention, with the children and residents of South Park coming together to help him, just as it was done in "Crippled Summer". However, after writing portions of the story for the tenth season episode, they found they did not know where to bring the story or how to resolve it, so they completely revamped the episode and focused it on talk show host Oprah Winfrey and the controversy surrounding the James Frey book A Million Little Pieces." - I don't understand this. Are you saying this episode focused on Oprah Winfrey etc., as Oprah is not mentioned in the plot? If not, why do you have all this here?
    • What I'm saying here is that the idea of an Intervention parody about Towelie's addiction (the basis of "Crippled Summer") was originally planned to be used for this "A Little Million Fibers" episode, but once they had trouble resolving it, they scrapped it and switched the focus to Oprah instead. I thought this was clear already in the wording, but I tried to tweak it a bit. If it is still unclear, let me know and I'll try rewording it again... — Hunter Kahn 20:57, 4 May 2010 (UTC)Reply
  • "Not all reviews of "Crippled Summer" were positive. MTV writer Adam Rosenberg found the episode almost entirely funny," - do you mean "unfunny"?

Otherwise, things look ok. I may add more comments.

Xtzou (Talk) 19:15, 4 May 2010 (UTC)Reply

  • I responded to all your comments and made the appropriate changes. (Please see my one note above regarding the Oprah bit.) Thanks! — Hunter Kahn 20:57, 4 May 2010 (UTC)Reply

Query

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:   Clear writing
    B. MoS compliance:   Complies with the basic MoS
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:   Sources are reliable
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:   Well referenced
    C. No original research:  
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:   Sets the context
    B. Focused:  } Remains focused on topic
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:  
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:  
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:  
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail: Pass!  

Nice job! Xtzou (Talk) 22:43, 4 May 2010 (UTC)Reply

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.