Talk:Criccieth Castle/GA1
Latest comment: 4 months ago by A.D.Hope in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 06:42, 2 December 2023 (UTC)
I will take a look at this one, comments to follow in due course. Zawed (talk) 06:42, 2 December 2023 (UTC)
Comments as follows:
Lead
- Further repairs took place under Edward II in the early fourteenth century.: this sentence is out of place chronologically with the following sentence
- Rearranged, done
- Just a suggestion, but I wonder if it is worth linking 'romantic ruin' to Romanticism?
- Done
Early history
- No antecedence for "the area"
- Fixed
- Since it is presented in italics, shouldn't there be a translation of Llys?
- Done
- Is there an appropriate link for St Catherine that could be added?
- There isn't, unfortunately
Because the use of phase 1 etc... in the infobox, this phrasing could be worked into the text in this section for consistency
- I see you have done this in the building sequence, so striking here
- link Edward I in the second paragraph
- Done
- In the third para, an issue here: The these changes
- Fixed
- link 'borough'?
- Done
- Suggesting adding Sir William Leyburn as a past commander in the infobox, particularly the garrison value in the infobox corresponds to the period when he was in command
- Done, I've also corrected to use the 'Leyburn' spelling throughout
- The way I read it, the fourth paragraph is uncited. It ends with note [a], and the cite is for that note, not the paragraph
- Fixed by duplicating citation at end of paragraph
- O'Neil identifies these: suggest adding context for O'Neil, e.g. English archeologist Bryan O'Neil identifies...
- Done
Later history
- the castle was captured during the Welsh Revolt...
- Fixed
- The state carried out extensive consolidation of the fabric,: 'fabric'?
- In this context 'fabric' means 'building', and it's a common term in the sources. I could add a Wiktionary link if you think that would be helpful?
- supervision of Bryan O'Neil;: the link on Bryan O'Neil should be moved to his first mention (see final bullet point of previous section above)
- Done
- link Cadw
- Done
Building sequence
- Dupe link here: Bryan O'Neil
- Fixed
- considered Llywelyn ab Iorwerth to be the more probable builder.
- Fixed
Architecture
- The sequence of the castle's construction is not entirely clear, but the general consensus is that it was built in three main phases.: this is a bit repetitive given it is discussed in the previous section. Perhaps trim it a bit and recast along the lines of "As noted above, ..."
- Fixed as suggested
- The first paragraph of the outer ward section is uncited
- I've deleted the introductory paragraphs in the inner and outer ward subsections, as they largely repeat the section introduction.
- Other than that, this section reads well
- Thank you!
- Is it possible that the images under the headings 'The inner gatehouse' and 'The outer ward' could be centred to match the position of those headings?
- I do agree, but the images have caused me no end of trouble so I'm a bit afraid to poke them again.
Sources
- No need for the garrison number in infobox to be cited since it is (will be) cited in the fourth paragraph of the Early history section
- Fixed
- I don't get the formatting of cites 3 and 4 due to the use of the ampersand; to me it implies two cites?
- Those cites use Template:National Historic Assets of Wales, which for some reason includes the ampersand. I don't like it, but I'm also unsure if it's possible to remove it.
- Looks to be RS otherwise
- Spotchecks
- Cite 29, only supports the finer details of the crucifix, but not the precise location of where it was found (the gatehouse). Everything else in that paragraph up to the placement of cite 29 is not supported.
- This is now cite 30, and cites O'Neil to support the location. Fixed the unsupported previous sentence.
- Cite 6 (Wiles), supports a lot of the material discussed, I assume the rest comes from Avent
- Having re-read the paragraph I'm not happy with my interpretation of the sources, so I've re-written it. Avent supports the Norman origin and the move to Criccieth, the RCAHMW and Wiles should support the rest.
- Cite 24, doesn't support the 42,000 and 48,000 visitors per year fact, but that would be supported by the cites used in note b
- Fixed by including the cites in note b at the end of that sentence
- Cite 17, OK
- Cite 21, OK
- Cite 42, it may be because O'Neil is a bit hard going to read, but I'm not getting the point that the first and second storeys were probably identical
- Similar to the above, I've re-written the passage. You're right about O'Neil not supporting the two floors being identical, that was my mistake.
Images
- Well illustrated and appropriate tags used
- Cheers!
That's it for me at this stage, putting on hold for now. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 09:49, 10 December 2023 (UTC)
- Hi @Zawed. Thank you for taking on the review, firstly, it's much appreciated! As you can see I've now responded to your points, apologies if I've inadvertently missed any. In a couple of cases your feedback has prompted larger changes than you suggested, but nothing too massive. Let me know what you think, and I'm looking forward to the next stage of the process. All the best, A.D.Hope (talk) 15:40, 13 December 2023 (UTC)
- Just to keep you abreast of things, while editing another article I stumbled across some good aerial images of the castle on Commons, so I've used one as the lead image and labelled one in lieu of a plan. I did enquire about using these plans but I think they're licenced in a way we can't use. A.D.Hope (talk) 23:12, 17 December 2023 (UTC)