Talk:Crave (Madonna and Swae Lee song)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Crave (Madonna and Swae Lee song)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 14:44, 10 June 2020 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Been in the nominations list for a few weeks now, will review this one soon! --Kyle Peake (talk) 14:44, 10 June 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• Use bullet points instead of hlist in the infobox
  • Is how I left it OK? let me know--Christian (talk) 22:46, 13 June 2020 (UTC)
    • No, you should remove flatlist and just use bullet points since that is advised and definitely works. --Kyle Peake (talk) 07:10, 14 June 2020 (UTC)
• Source for the recording date?
  • There aren't any verifiable sources as to the places/studios the album/songs were recorded or when
    • Chrishm21 Remove the recording date then since it is WP:OR --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:40, 14 June 2020 (UTC)
      • @Kyle Peake: like this?
        • Chrishm21 That's fine, just need to fix the refs --Kyle Peake (talk) 09:57, 15 June 2020 (UTC)
• Target hip hop to Hip hop music
• Credit Madonna under Writer(s) as Madonna Ciccone and remove wiklink on her per WP:OVERLINK
• Link to the video in here instead of External links
• "Madonna featuring American rapper" → "Madonna, featuring American rapper"
• "from her fourteenth studio album" → "from the former's fourteenth studio album"
• "was released as the album's second official single" → "was released for digital download and streaming as the album's second [[Single (music)|single" with the targets as instructed, plus mention the labels this was through
• ""Crave" was written by Madonna, Lee and Starrah," → "The song was written by the two artists and Starrah," plus this sentence should be the second of the lead instead of the single one, which should be third
• "production was in charge of" → "production was handled by"
• Target Mike Dean to Mike Dean (record producer)
• "It has been noted as" → "The song has been noted as"
• Target hip hop to Hip hop music
• Target ballad to Sentimental ballad
• "with lyrics that talk about desire" → "with the lyrics talking about desire"
• "wrote for the album" → "wrote for Madame X
• "but she put it on hold" → "but she put the work on hold"
• Wiklink Lisbon
• "she came to the conclusion" → "Madonna came to the conclusion"
• "she needed a male voice on the track" → "a male voice was needed for inclusion"
• "approached Lee to sing with her" → "approached Swae Lee to sing with her"
• "It received generally positive reviews" → ""Crave" received generally positive reviews"
• "there were some who found it forgettable" → "there were some who found the song forgettable"
• "In the United States, "Crave" became" → "In the United States, it became"
• Mention that the peak position was number 11 somewhere here
• "on the official sales chart" → "on the UK Singles Sales chart" with the target
• "A music video," → "An accompanying music video," with the wikilink
• "Madonna and Lee singing the song" → "Madonna and Swae Lee singing the song"
• Target New York to New York City
• "A remix created by Tracy Young was performed on" → "A remix of the song was created by Tracy Young and performed during" with the wikilink removed

 Done

Background and composition

• "He has good energy"." → "He has good energy."" since this is from a bunch of full sentences so needs the punctuation inside per WP:QUOTEMARK
• Remove wikilink on Lisbon, Portugal and solely wikilink Lisbon to itself
• "seeking a top football academy" → "when seeking a top football academy"
• Mention David's surname
• "artists, painters and musicians, who" → "artists; painters and musicians, who"
• "In these sessions, they" → "In the sessions, they"
• "bring food, sit around the table and" → "bring food and sit around the table, and"
• "had previously worked on her albums" → "had previously contributed to her albums"
• "she wrote for the album, but she put it on hold" → "she wrote for Madame X, but had put it on hold"
• "When she revisited all the songs" → "When Madonna revisited all the songs"
• "she listened to "Crave" again" → "she listened to the track again"
• "thought she needed a male voice on the track" → "thought a male voice was needed on it"
• "and asked American singer and rapper Swae Lee to" → "and asked Swae Lee to" since you have already introduced him
• "her, as she liked his voice" → "her due to liking his voice"
• "Lee said he was very excited when Madonna approached him;" → "Of Madonna having approached him, Swae Lee said he was very excited,"
• Target L.A. to Los Angeles
• "it was cool"." → "it was cool."" since that's a sentence
• "was written by Madonna, Lee and" → "was written by Madonna, Swae Lee and"
• "was in charge of the singer, Mike Dean and" → "was in charge of the second of the three, Dean, and"
• Target hip hop to Hip hop music
• Target ballad to Sentimental ballad
• "featuring acoustic guitar, and hand-clap" → "that features acoustic guitar and hand-clap"
• "according to Madonna, is about" → "according to Madonna, the song is about"
• [1][11] should both solely be at the end of the sentence since it's only two refs
• "It presents influence from Lisbon's" → "It takes influence from Lisbon's" with the wikilink
• "that the record was created" → "that the album was created"
• "She "sighs and sings" → "Madonna "sighs and sings"
• "until Lee joins her" → "until Swae Lee joins her"
• Target chorus to Refrain
• "with both singing" → "as both sing"
• "noted that sonically, "Crave" was" → "noted that "Crave" is sonically"
• Add [] around both (2012) and (1998), since neither of them are written out in the review

 Done

Critical reception

• "received generally positive reviews" → "was met with generally positive reviews"
• "Also from Rolling Stone, Emily" → "Also from the magazine, Emily"
• "referred to it as" → "referred to the song as"
• "praising Lee's" → "praising Swae Lee's"
• "called it a" → "called the song a"
• This is too much quoting for NME review; maybe switch the "and yet sounds nothing like it" into your own words, ending the quote here
• Target rhythmic to Rhythmic contemporary
• "For Jeremy Helligar, from Variety, it" → "Jeremy Helligar from Variety stated it"
• Slant Magazine quoting should be reduced and put in own words for bits
• "Sean Maunier, from" → "Sean Maunier, for" to avoid repetitive wording
• "and ethereal [...] sounds like it" → "and ethereal", saying that the song "sounds like it"
• Change US Weekly to Us Weekly
• "album track "Crazy", "have" → "fellow album track "Crazy" both "have"
• "Writing for The Guardian, Ben Beaumont-Thomas" → "For The Guardian, Ben Beaumont-Thomas"
• "opined it was one of the album's moments" → "opined that it was one of the moments on Madame X"
• "deemed it "a misty ballad" → "deemed the song "a misty ballad"
• Target drum programming to Programming (music)
• Remove Medium as that violates WP:SELFPUB
• "Jamie Tabberer was more critical;" → "Jamie Tabberer was more critical:"
• "said it sounded like a" → "said the track sounded like a"
• "dismissed it as "a naked attempt" → "dismissed the track as "a naked attempt"

 Done

Commercial performance

• "highest debut on the Billboard's" → "highest debut on Billboard's"
• "number 19 on the week dated June 8, 2019" → "number 19, for the issue dated June 8, 2019"
• "her second appearance for this decade" → "her 2nd appearance in the 2010s decade"
• "The next week, the song climbed to" → "The next week, the song climbed four places to"
• "It then climbed to its peak" → "The song then climbed to its peak"
• "and her largest hit there since" → "and her largest hit on it since"
• "also topped the" → "also topped the US"
• "on the week dated November 16, 2019, becoming her" → "for the issue date of November 16, 2019, becoming Madonna's"
• "on the official sales chart, spending only one week" → "on the UK Singles Sales chart and lasted for one week" with the target
• "on the singles downloads chart" → "on the UK Download chart"
• "on the week starting on" → "for the week starting on"
• "staying inside the chart for one week" → "staying inside the Scottish Singles Chart for one week"
• "On France's download chart, the song" → "On the French downloads chart, the song"
• "it reached number 28 on its national chart" → "the song reached number 28 on the Single Top 40" with the target
• "also peaked at number 19" → "further peaked at number 19"
• "on the foreign language songs chart in China" → "on Billboard China's foreign language songs chart"

 Done

Music video and live performance

• Img needs alt text
• "music video. Madonna's hand reaches" → "music video, featuring Madonna's hand reaching" with the wikilink
• Put a full-stop at the end of the main text
• "while a rough unfinished cut" → "while a rough, unfinished cut"
• [7][41] put in numerical order
• Wikilink alter ego
• "danger, I crave it"." → "danger, I crave it."" since that's sentences
• "which eventually makes its way to Lee" → "with the pigeon eventually making its way to Swae Lee"
• "The clip then shows the singer" → "The clip then shows Madonna"
• "with footage of a shirtless Lee on a rooftop filled with pigeon coops" → "with footage of Swae Lee shirtless on a rooftop that is filled with pigeon coops"
• [42][8] put in numerical order
• "The final scene is of the two reunited in" → "The final scene shows the two of them reunited on"
• "for each other's hand" → "for each other's hands"
• "as two pigeons fly away" → "while two pigeons fly away"
• "praised the video for being simpler" → "praised the music video for being simpler"
• "for previous single" → "for Madonna's previous single"
• "Billboard called the video" → "The staff of Billboard called the visual"
• Target pigeon keepers to Pigeon keeping
• "According to Idolator's Mike Wass, "the sleek" → "According to Wass, "the sleek"
• "and said it was the singer's" → "and he said it was Madonna's"
• "daughters Estere and Stella" → "daughters Estere and Stella Ciccone"
• Wikilink on sequins
• The last sentence is confusing; was there more than one performance of this song then?
  • Lee Joined Madonna for the performance of the song on that specific show

Oh this is fine, but you should mention the date at an earlier point. --Kyle Peake (talk) 16:39, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

 Done

Track listing

• Change Stream to Digital download / streaming
• Use the ref cited under May 10, 2019 instead of the Spotify one since that is unreliable and the former backs it up
• Use a different ref for the MNEK Remix per ditto
• Keep wikilink on Swae Lee but remove them from the artists listed under remixes since that's part of the title

 Done

Credits and personnel

• Wikilink Madonna
• Target vocals to Singing
• Target Mike Dean to Mike Dean (record producer)

 Done

Charts

• Whole section is good

Release history

• Format → Format(s)
• Refs should have their own col and be centered
• Remove second target on Digital download
• Remove wiklink on Remix
• Add the MNEK Remix here under an appropriately order placement
  • I don't get this last point, could you elaborate?
    • The MNEK remix had its separate release, so shouldn't it be included here too? --Kyle Peake (talk) 15:37, 13 June 2020 (UTC)
      • I think it's more appropriate to keep it under the Tracklist section, but let me know --Christian (talk) 22:44, 13 June 2020 (UTC)
        • Yeah you can do that since it's just one remix. --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:40, 14 June 2020 (UTC)

References

• Copyvio score looks good at 30.6%
• Make sure all of these are archived using the Fix dead links tool
• Use consistent date formatting throughout; in this case, it has to be the American format
• Target Billboard to Billboard (magazine) on ref 1
• Remove target on Billboard for ref 2
• Change ref 3 to citing Vulture as the work/website, with target to Vulture.com
  • There's no article for Vulture.com, it leads to New York (magazine); or are you saying I cite it as Vulture?
    • Cite as Vulture but target to Vulture.com per MOS:LINK2SECT --Kyle Peake (talk) 15:36, 13 June 2020 (UTC)

 Not done --Kyle Peake (talk) 15:18, 15 June 2020 (UTC)

 Done

• Just remember that when I italicise work/website like above, I am doing it to represent how it looks; do not enter italics yourself as that doesn't work.
• Wikilink Rolling Stone on ref 6
• Wikilink Slant Magazine on ref 7 and fix MOS:QWQ issues
• Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 10
• Fix MOS:CAPS issues with ref 11
• Remove wikilink on Rolling Stone for refs 15 and 40

 Done

 Not done for the 2nd which is now ref 39 --Kyle Peake (talk) 15:18, 15 June 2020 (UTC)

• Target Idolator to Idolator (website) on ref 16 and cite as publisher instead, while fix MOS:QWQ issues

 Not done --Kyle Peake (talk) 15:18, 15 June 2020 (UTC)

 Done

• Remove wikilink on Slant Magazine for ref 17
• Delete ref 24 per WP:SELFPUB
• Cite Gay Star News as publisher instead for ref 25
• Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 42
• Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 44

 Not done --Kyle Peake (talk) 15:18, 15 June 2020 (UTC)

 Done

• Cite Exitoína as publisher instead for ref 49 but keep the target
• Delete refs 50 and 51 since they are unreliable
• Ref 52 should cite various countries to verify that the release was indeed various

 Not done this is now ref 50 and you need to change Other(s) to Various, plus add citations for multiple countries --Kyle Peake (talk) 15:18, 15 June 2020 (UTC)

@Kyle Peake: I haven't found any source that cites more than one country, what should I do? Also let me know if the rest is OK now--Christian (talk) 15:55, 16 June 2020 (UTC)

@Chrishm21: You can follow "All Day" for an example of citing various iTunes releases and also, fix the Radio Date ref's MOS:CAPS issues --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:49, 16 June 2020 (UTC)

@Kyle Peake: let me know if this works; I've also corrected the rest of the CAPS issues on other quotations, let me know if it is correct.--Christian (talk) 15:34, 17 June 2020 (UTC)

Chrishm21 The styling itself is fine, but you have cited the wrong release under Remixes, since that is supposed to be the one of multiple Remixes, not the MNEK Remix release and also, change Other(s) to Various in the table. --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:04, 18 June 2020 (UTC)

Kyle Peake I tried to help Chrishm21 on this one, take a look. Alex ^{reach me!} 17:40, 18 June 2020 (UTC)

11JORN Thanks a lot for your input here. --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:46, 18 June 2020 (UTC)

• Fix MOS:CAPS issues with ref 58

@Kyle Peake: well the MNEK Remix was one of the many remixes released; I have cited the other remixes (included on the EPs - pt 1 & 2), I really hope this is correct now--Christian (talk) 15:46, 18 June 2020 (UTC)

• • Uhmmm, there's no ref 58

Chrishm21 These instructions are for the refs when they were in this order, so switching order/losing refs is fine to happen but use the revision linked as a guide for which refs I am talking about, also sign off posts next time. --Kyle Peake (talk) 15:42, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

 Not done --Kyle Peake (talk) 15:18, 15 June 2020 (UTC)

 Done

External links

• Remove the video from this section

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold but the changes shouldn't be too hard for you to fix. --Kyle Peake (talk) 09:15, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

I have corrected all the points @Kyle Peake:, if I am missing one please let me know. --Christian (talk) 14:59, 15 June 2020 (UTC)

Chrishm21 You have missed a few, which I have planked the not done template on. --Kyle Peake (talk) 15:18, 15 June 2020 (UTC)

@Kyle Peake: will get to do them today, if not, tomorrow.--Christian (talk) 15:24, 15 June 2020 (UTC)

✓ Pass! --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:46, 18 June 2020 (UTC)