Talk:Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex/GA1

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 03:32, 12 March 2015 (UTC)Reply


Lead
  • "Its initial release was" → "It was first released"
  • "instalment" → "installment" (typo)
    • My spellcheck says the opposite. Is this because my computer is British? '''tAD''' (talk) 15:15, 24 March 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • The "Characters of Crash Bandicoot" links should be List of Crash Bandicoot series characters
  • It would help to give Crunch's name during his first mention
  • "mixed to positive reviews" should simply be "mixed reviews"
  • Sales figures and Xbox/GameCube releases should be included
    • Included a sales figure. The other release dates were in before, but were a repetitive soup which is presented better in the infobox. '''tAD''' (talk) 15:15, 24 March 2015 (UTC)Reply
Gameplay
  • All characters except for Crash and Cortex should link to "List of Crash Bandicoot series characters"
  • Link Doctor Neo Cortex
  • "Each level contains a 'Bonus Platform' that leads to a special bonus area, where the player must navigate through a maze and collect everything in sight. Once a bonus area is completed, it cannot be played again unless the level is replayed."..... while the description of the "bonus" stages is spot-on, not every level contains them (i.e. flight levels and Atlasphere levels).
  • Replace "instructing Crash or Coco to collect" with "collecting"
  • The "O" shouldn't be capitalized for "Game over"
Plot
Characters
  • See about note in lead about "Characters in Crash Bandicoot" links
  • I'm not sure if "kindly" is a neutral description for Aku Aku, even though he is seen as the "good guy", or "evil" for Uka Uka despite being seen as the "bad guy"
  • "A number of" is an exaggeration when listing four recurring villains
  • "assistant" or "main assistant" would be better than "right-hand man"
  • Something about "particularly" for "particularly Crunch" reads awkwardly
  • "bad-tempered" → "temperamental"
  • I'm skeptical about the use of "stick-in-the-mud"
Story
  • "newly built" isn't really needed
  • Rather than "unimpressive evil productivity", I feel it would be better to quote Uka Uka by using "track record for spreading evil"
  • "and forces them"..... a more accurate term would actually be orders
  • "genetically enhanced superweapon of unbelievable strength" should be in quotation marks
  • "Uka Uka then tells the group a tale of a battle between the Ancient Ancestors and the Elementals"..... he doesn't so much tell a story about the Elementals as he does suggest using them
  • "do away with"..... eliminate
  • See above note in calling Uka Uka "evil"
  • "snapping him out of" → "and releases him from"
    • All done
Development
  • I'd add release dates here as well as GameCube announcements
Reception
  • ’ should be ' per MOS:QUOTEMARKS
  • "Despite the less-than-stellar reviews" can simply be replaced with "Commercially"
  • How many copies did the Xbox and GameCube versions sell?
    • The Almightey Drill, this is my last concern; we're really close! Just add these sales and I'll pass. Snuggums (talk / edits) 16:07, 24 March 2015 (UTC)Reply
      • SNUGGUMS, this is proving much more difficult than I presumed. The closest I can find is this, which is user-created and thus invalid. '''tAD''' (talk) 16:43, 24 March 2015 (UTC)Reply
        • Understood, though everything else looks good. I'm passing now, well done :D! Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:38, 24 March 2015 (UTC)Reply
References
Overall
  • Well-written?
  • Prose quality:   Decent, but needs improvements
  • Manual of Style compliance:   Close, but not quite
  • Verifiable?
  • Reference layout:   Several need fixing
  • Reliable sources:   All references are reliable
  • No original research:   Dead links make things harder to verify
  • Broad in coverage?
  • Major aspects:   Could use some expansion
  • Focused:   No excess detail
  • Neutral?:   Almost
  • Stable?:   Nothing to worry about
  • Illustrated, if possible, by images?
  • Appropriate licensing:   All good
  • Relevance and captioning:   Looks fine
  • Pass or Fail?:   Placing this on hold for seven days. Main concern is prose. Snuggums (talk / edits) 08:33, 24 March 2015 (UTC)Reply