Talk:Copper Basin (Tennessee)/GA1
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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 17:04, 13 April 2020 (UTC)
Opening statement edit
In reviews I conduct, I may make small copyedits. These will only be limited to spelling and punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. For replying to Reviewer comment, please use Done, Fixed, Added, Not done, Doing..., or Removed, followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. —♠Vami_IV†♠ 17:04, 13 April 2020 (UTC)
As this the first of the reviewee's articles that I have reviewed, they should note that I am a grammar pendant and will nitpick in the interest of prose quality. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 17:04, 13 April 2020 (UTC)
Geography and geology
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Do you have any images of the basin from the air or maybe orbit to illustrate the environmental impact of mining operations?Move the image in "Geography and geology" to the right.common borders of Tennessee, North Carolina, and Georgia.
What's a common border?has created a reservoir
Axe "has".Cleveland, Tennessee metropolitan area
Combine these wikilinks into one, or rebuild the sentence.
Pre-mining history
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when the Cherokee relinquished control of the basin to the U.S. government
Do you know with which treaty?- Added - added Treaty of New Echota, the treaty which specifically relinquished this land to the government, even though the Indian Removal Act of 1830 initiated the whole process. I don't think that would be necessary to include here, though. Bneu2013 (talk) 20:39, 13 April 2020 (UTC)
The Copper Basin was known to the Cherokee as Kawa'na.[11] Copper from the basin was used by the Cherokee on a limited basis.[12]
It would be nice to know more about the Cherokee's occupation of the basin.
Early mining history
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Copper was first discovered in the Copper Basin
But the Cherokee were already getting copper from the basin?- Comment - I've added "by a European American" to the end of this sentence, as this was the discovery that confirmed to the settlers that there was indeed copper in the basin. Don't know if this is a permanent fix though. From what I can tell from the sources, the Cherokee were aware of the existence of copper in the basin, mining only small quantities, and the European settlers had probably heard rumors copper in the basin, but were not certain of its existence until the 1843 discovery. This will probably take a little more research, though. Bneu2013 (talk) 20:47, 13 April 2020 (UTC)
now known as Potato Creek [...] named Lemmons who was reportedly panning for gold
Too much detail, axe.southwest of what would eventually become the Burra Burra Mine
Needs a comma at the end.by a prospector
Wikilink?What shape did this initial mining take?400 acres
Needs a Template:Convert.onto a railroad
Which railroad?In 1851, work began on the Old Copper Road [...] The Old Copper Road was completed in 1853, and is now part of U.S. Route 64.
Two ideas for this: First, combine and condense. Second, replace "Old Copper Road" in the first bit of highlighted text and replace it with "a road" or something, and then name it in the second highlight.In an effort to reduce transportation costs, the mining companies began smelting the copper onsite in 1856.[20]
How?Citation [15] is repeated without interruption in the last two sentences of Paragraph 1.In January 1862, the Confederacy issued a decree, seizing control of the mines and halting private operations
Abbreviate.Union cavalrymen, led by Col. Eli Long,
Delete these commas.Confederate defeat at Chattanooga
Link the relevant battle.which happened during this raid
Axe.which proved a major blow to the Confederate war effort, as about 90% of their copper came from the Copper Basin.
Give this its own sentence.resumed in 1865,
Delete.and the following year,
Change to "and in 1866"finding the mines difficult to operate, reopened the mines.
The first part of this should be axed and just left for the end of the paragraph (By this time, however, the mines, lacking a cost-effective method of transporting the ore out of the basin, were forced out of business.
).24 million pounds
Needs a Template:Convert.The Confederate defeat at Chattanooga resulted restoration of the mines to Union Control, which proved a major blow
Consider:The Confederate defeat at Chattanooga proved a major blow [...]
- Comment - I fixed the grammatical error here. However, I think it's important to explain why the Confederate defeat at Chattanooga (which is a good 50 miles from the basin) resulted in loss of the mines in the basin, and why this was such a blow. Bneu2013 (talk) 21:01, 13 April 2020 (UTC)
By this time, however the mines
needs a comma after "however"
Expansion of mining operations
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The strike was settled after the intervention of law enforcement.
In whose favor?flotation plant
Needs a wikilink to the relevant process.- Done - linked to froth flotation. Bneu2013 (talk) 01:02, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
copper sulfate [...] Iron and zinc concentrates
Need wikilinks.A sulfuric acid plant was constructed in Copperhill in 1942, and by 1949 liquid sulfuric acid was being produced.[13]
The previous sentence was in 1936, and the next in 1937; this sentence should be moved into "Later years".the TCC was essentially divided when two of the unions joined the American Federation of Labor (AFL), and the other joined the Congress of Industrial Organizations (CIO).
Was the company divided or its workers?Both, unions, however,
Replace with "The unions".- Done
As a result, a six-week strike began on July 14, 1939.
What came of the strike? Did any complications arise from the company having two unions? Actually, which one of those two organized this strike?
Environmental issues and reclamation
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At first, [...]
There's nothing to preface this. I'd remove it.[...] the forests in the Copper Basin were logged to fuel the smelters, and as early as 1861, trees were becoming scarce. In 1876, the companies began importing logs from Fannin County, Georgia.
Combine?Due to the removal of the forests, this also resulted in erosion of the topsoil
Two layers of redundancy here; try a rewording.which was successfully marketed
Unnecessary down here.Two additional Supreme Court cases related to this injunction, Wetmore v. Tennessee Copper Co. and Ladew v. Tennessee Copper Co., both in 1910, followed.
Missing a citation and the result of these cases/their impact on Madison v. Ducktown Sulphur, Copper & Iron Company.
Referencing
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One final concern: All of "Further reading" have dedicated Harvard citations, but the article doesn't use Harvard citations. "Further reading" is also a bad name for the bibliography (typically called "References"). I recommend deleting the |ref= parameters (which will save total article size) or converting to Harvard citations (which will of course link directly to the source). –♠Vami_IV†♠ 23:13, 25 April 2020 (UTC)
- Done - Vami IV, renamed "Bibliography", and also flipped with references section. Will convert to Harvard citation tl.Bneu2013 (talk) 23:33, 25 April 2020 (UTC)
GA progress edit
Pictures relevant and free, article passes copyvio scanner. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 17:04, 13 April 2020 (UTC)
- Vami IV - I think I've addressed all the issues you listed. Would you mind taking a look at it now? Bneu2013 (talk) 11:28, 24 April 2020 (UTC)
- Update - Vami IV - addressed the issues in the last section. Bneu2013 (talk) 21:02, 25 April 2020 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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