Talk:Ciega, Sordomuda/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 08:46, 12 June 2022 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

It is appropriate that my first review for you in some time is for the GAN backlog drive! --K. Peake 08:46, 12 June 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• A release in Mexico needs to be mentioned in the body to warrant the cover being listed as Mexican
• Remove the usage of the word studios from the parameter
• The release sentence should be the third of the para instead
• "and Estéfano with the artist and" → "and Estéfano, while produced by the singer and" however, you need to mention the producers in the body too
• "it utilizes mariachi horns and lyrically that equates" → "it utilizes mariachi trumpets and lyrically equates"
• The music video info should be directly before live performances in the second para instead
• "A music video was filmed" → "An accompanying music video was filmed"
• Wikilink Gustavo Garzón
• "music critics who praised the instruments used and compared it to her" → "music critics, who praised the instruments used and compared it to Shakira's"
• "It was nominated in" → "The song was nominated in"
• "and was a recipient of an" → "and was a recipient of a"
• "The track was included in" → "The song was included in"
• "She also performed" → "Shakira also performed"
• Pipe acoustic to Acoustic music
• "for the MTV Unplugged live album." → "for her first live album, MTV Unplugged (2000)."

Background and composition

• "After Shakira rose to prominence with the success of her major-label debut" → "After rising to prominence with the success of her major-label debut album"
• "into the US Latin market. One of Shakira's concerns" → "into the US Latin market, though one of Shakira's concerns" with the pipe
• "the roles and duties were defined:" → "the roles and duties were finalized:"
• "on this project"." → "on this project."" per MOS:QUOTE on full sentences
• "Since then, they started working on" → "After that, they started working at"
• "on end, I wouldn't stop"." → "on end, I wouldn't stop."" also, this sentence needs the appropriate citation(s) at the end
• Wikilink amplifiers per WP:PIPE
• "than her previous records since more people worked on this album." → "than Shakira's previous records since more people were involved."
• In the co-writing sentence, also mention who she produced the track with
• "It is a pop rock song" → "Musically, "Ciega, Sordomuda" is a pop rock song"
• "Lyrically, she describes herself" → "Lyrically, Shakira describes herself"
• Why is there a space between foolish and the comma?

Critical reception

• Retitle to Reception per awards being included
• Shouldn't you order the reviews by ones that praised the instrumentation first since that is what the lead mentions initially?
• Introduce "Estoy Aquí" as being Shakira's breakthrough hit and add the release year
• "called it a" → "called the song a"
• "strum of guitars."" → "strum of guitars"." per MOS:QUOTE
• "of the album's "catchy tunes"[11]" → "of the album's "catchy tunes",[11] while" merging with the following sentence
• "and also compared it to" → "and also made a comparison to"
• "but lost to" → "but ultimately lost to"
• Pipe BMI Latin Awards to BMI Film & TV Awards
• "of 1998" with Leila Cobo noting that it" → "of 1998", with Leila Cobo noting that the song"
• "up to that point."" → "up to that point"."
• "26 Best Songs on HipLatina." → "26 Best Songs by HipLatina."

Commercial performance

• Make this the third para of reception instead per the overly short size
• Remove pipe on Billboard
• "later where the track spent three week at" → "later, spending three weeks at"

Promotion and live performances

• Any specific countries where it was released to radio stations? Also, mention in the sentence that the release was as the album's lead single.
• "on her greatest hits album" → "on Shakira's greatest hits album" with the wikilink
• Wikilink music video
• "and escapes with her" → "and escaping with her"
• "several policemen who are" → "several policemen, who are"
• "It was nominated in" → "The video was nominated in"
• "but lost to" → "but ultimately lost to"
• Pipe Arrowhead Pond to Honda Center
• Reword the sentence to something like the Los Angeles Times writer noted Shakira's "disjointed robotic movements" while she performed the track at the Arrowhead Pond in 2000
• SpinningPlatters.com → Spinning Platters
• Pipe acoustic to Acoustic music
• Remove overly obvious wikilink on New York City
• "where she accompanied by" → "where she was accompanied by"
• Wikilink live album
• "As part of the Latin Recording Academy" → "As part of The Latin Recording Academy" with the wikilink

Formats and track listings

• Good

Credits and personnel

• Use {{spaced ndash}} so there is the right space between credits and personnel
• Any specific order here?
• Why are Lester Mendez and Shakira listed as co-producers?
• Pipe mixing to Audio mixing (recorded music)

Charts

• Good

References

• Copyvio score looks fabulous at 14.5%!!!
• Wikilink Los Angeles Times on ref 1
• Ref 3 does not lead to any citation when clicked on or hovered over
• Pipe Billboard to Billboard (magazine) on ref 6
• Pipe El Norte to El Norte (Monterrey) on ref 7 if that is indeed the work being cited; either way wikilink ProQuest
• Wikilink The New Rolling Stone Album Guide on ref 9
• Remove the publisher from ref 15
• Cite Univision solely as publisher instead on ref 16, removing the other one
• Wikilink Broadcast Music, Inc on ref 17
• Cite last name followed by first and the de part if that is middle name on ref 18, also shouldn't HipLatina be cited as publisher?
• Remove the publisher from ref 20
• WP:OVERLINK of Billboard on ref 22
• WP:OVERLINK of Billboard on ref 23 and pipe Nielsen Business Media, Inc to Nielsen Holdings
• Where are you getting the Editorial El part from for ref 27's author?
• Wikilink Chicago Tribune on ref 30
• Remove the publisher from ref 32
• WP:OVERLINK of Univision on ref 35
• Pipe Hearst Communications to Hearst Corporation on ref 38
• Allmusic → AllMusic on ref 39, also cite Alex Henderson's last name first and remove the second publisher
• Pipe Columbia to Columbia Records on ref 41

External links

• The video should be linked to in the infobox instead of here

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold until all of the issues are fixed; nice work on this! --K. Peake 10:36, 12 June 2022 (UTC)

  Thanks! Let me finish the GAR for Dejaría Todo, then I will get to this article! Erick (talk) 18:32, 17 June 2022 (UTC)

  Magiciandude No problem with that whatsoever; I gladly await your response! --K. Peake 20:47, 17 June 2022 (UTC)

  @Kyle PeakeAnd...done! Well ok, so I deviated a bit with the suggestions, namely not using work and publisher simultaneously for sources. I based this on the last GAR I had. For the personnel, it's meant to be in alphabetical order, but I screwed up a bit, and now it's fixed! How's the article look now? Erick (talk) 14:53, 20 June 2022 (UTC)

  ✓ Pass now, the refs look fine really! --K. Peake 15:04, 20 June 2022 (UTC)