Talk:Castro Valley High School/Archive 1
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Archive 1 |
Castro Valley HS
Let's see if we can compromise on some of the issues at hand. I'll try to go point-by-point through my cleanup and you all can let me know where you disagree. The areas we agree on we can go ahead and revise.
First of all, almost all standardized high school and university articles use the term "Notable alumni" instead of "Famous People." Also, it's Wikipedia style policy for non-proper nouns in section headers not to be capitalized. "People" is not a proper noun, so, even if we were to use "Famous People" as the section header, it should read "Famous people."
I originally didn't think Mark Carroll (a CVHS alumnus) quite qualified as notable, but I don't feel strongly about that. We can keep him. I added Rachel Maddow because she's notable and she's an alumni of CVHS.
Girl's basketball controversy
Due to complaints from parents about the coaching style of girls varsity basketball coach Nancy Nibarger (this is not a sentence). According to the San Francisco Chronicle (should be italicized), these parents complaints and accusations (what accusations and complaints? They are not specified and a link was not provided to back any specifications even if such specifics were provided) against the coach have never been found to have any merit, yet the school agreed to allow a six-person panel choose the team instead of the coach ("choose the team instead of the coach" is, as this reader is concerned, a non sequitur. It makes no sense). On November 20, 2006, the San Francisco Chronicle (italics again) reported that none of the daughters of the complaining parents made the cut (relevance?).
In all this appears to be a grammatically shoddy and unspecific blurb that, well, makes no sense.
I removed this sentence, "Students have reported problems traveling through the school because of heavy contsruction," becuase it's relatively irrelevant and understood (to me at least). Generally, when any structure, institution, or building undergoes construction travel may become difficult. It strikes me as a relatively silly thing to waste time talking about in an encyclopedia as a separate paragraph (maybe merge it with another sentence?).
I changed "mid 50s" to "mid '50s" because the apostrophe denotes that the word (or number, in this case) in question is being appreviated. Specifically, from 1950s to '50s.
"Crime has gone up significantly because of interdistrict transfers." I removed the sentence because, based on the quality of previous content, I doubted its veracity. Also for something as inflammatory as this, it is not cited, which it needs to be.
Annotated comments below:
"Craig Nieves, football coach and Physical Education teacher, has recently resigned as head football coach (relevance? Notability? Coaches resign all the time in high schools and unless this guy is notable for holding some incredible winning records or for some other reason I see no reason why this should be bothered to be included in Wikipedia). In fact, all football coaches have resigned (what is this supposed to mean? Clarity?).
The football stadium is expected to be completed in time for the 2007 season, but this is an optimistic estimate considering past events that have delayed construction." (I moved this sentence up a few paragraphs into the "Construction" section, where it seemed to be much better suited. Also, this appears to be editorializing in saying that this is an optimistic estimate.)
I'm assuming you all will get back to me and please explain why you feel the above edits should remain in light of my thoughts. Also, in the future, if you disagree with parts of a cleanup, don't revert the entire thing, just revert the part you disagree with and get back to the person whom you are reverting.
Thanks.
Assess
This page is very small for a "start" class. You have some alumni.... have a look at other school pages .... pics? refs? more. Welcome Victuallers 15:01, 1 June 2007 (UTC)