Talk:Capture of Wurst Farm/GA1

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Hamish59 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 03:28, 1 July 2015 (UTC)Reply


I'll get to this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:28, 1 July 2015 (UTC)Reply

  • Sorry for taking so long to get to this.
  • No DABs, external links OK
  • Images properly licensed.
  • Needs some photos of combatants
  • Can you modify the detailed maps to show the front line at the time? Don't know how
  • Lede a bit too detailed. Shorten it to 2 paras or so.
  • Who's Fifth Army? Link it as well.  Done
  • Tell the reader that the 4th Army is German, and move its link there.  Done
  • at the front of the main zone had fallen since the Battle of Pilckem Ridge Awkward, passive writing. It hadn't been given away; it "had been captured".
  • Briefly explain about the function of Eingrief divisions.  Done
  • Lossberg the 4th Army Chief of Staff, comma after Lossberg.   Done
  • If you're going to red link something, do it at first use. And make sure that all links are at first use.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:17, 14 July 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • Awkward: The Fifth Army made several minor attacks in September with little success and were suspended but smaller local operations continued.  Done
  • Before the main attack, the 58th Trench Mortar Battery fired twenty shots at a pillbox and had ten hits. significance?  Done
  • What the regiment of the 2nd/4th London Battalion? and 2/6 Rifles?  Done
  • Platoons and sections had all been given geographical objectives, such as pillboxes and emplacements; as they were outflanked the occupants surrendered and 301 Germans were taken prisoner. Rephrase to something like that 301 German defenders surrendered as their defensive works were outflanked.  Done
  • What's an outpost group?  Done
  • 59th (2nd North Midland) Division (59th Division) Typo, I presume? No, abbreviation clarifiedKeith-264 (talk) 06:37, 21 July 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • Not sure if the summary of Polygon Wood is necessary.
  • Move the note about Chinese attacks right after that phrase where a reader will immediately see it. I missed it on my first read through.  Done--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:17, 14 July 2015 (UTC)Reply

Some comments edit

I just wanted to add a few comments. Not sure if they are useful / necessary at this point. Hamish59 (talk) 10:34, 24 July 2015 (UTC)Reply

  • In the infobox, German Commander is Erich Ludendorff. Would the 36th Division / Corps / 4th Army commander be more appropriate?
  • In infobox, German causalties "up to 50 percent". 50% of what? What sort of numbers?
  • 55th (West Lancashire) Infantry Division should be 55th (West Lancashire) Division for consistency with 51st (Highland) Division and 58th (2/1st London) Division
  • Would linking to Fritz von Lossberg be worthwhile?
  • Winnipeg / Winnipeg cross-roads / Winnipeg crossroads needs consistency.
  • What is Springfield?
  • On battalions of the London Regiment
  • Over linking to Post Office Rifles
  • Linking 1st Tank Brigade to Royal Tank Regiment is not correct, I think. How about [[E battalion|Royal Tank Regiment]] or [[E battalion|5th Royal Tank Regiment]]. I guess we need a 1st Tank Brigade article or something similar at some point. Surprised we do not have one yet - surely the world's first armoured formation?
  • 26 September section: need link to Second Army? Ditto 3rd Division.
  • The 58th Division had 1,236 casualties seems odd to my eyes. The 58th Division suffered 1,236 casualties perhaps?