Talk:Cape Verde at the 2012 Summer Olympics

Latest comment: 9 years ago by Miyagawa in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

This review is transcluded from Talk:Cape Verde at the 2012 Summer Olympics/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Miyagawa (talk · contribs) 09:31, 21 November 2014 (UTC)Reply


Ok, time for a review.

Lead

"Ruben Sança a long-distance runner, Lidiane Lopes a sprinter and Adysângela Moniz a judoka." This would be constructed better using a combination of semi colons and commas (plus one Oxford comma) to become "Ruben Sança, a long-distance runner; Lidiane Lopes, a sprinter, and Adysângela Moniz, a judoka."
Corrected.

Background

Typically you wouldn't link the USA or UK articles. Also you link London further down in the paragraph, but it isn't the first appearance.

Corrected.

"Cape Verde made their Olympic debut in 1996, sending three athletes to the games" - I'd drop that sentence entirely as you said in the previous sentence that they made their debut in Atlanta, and in the following sentence you also say they sent three athletes. So it's repetitive.
Removed.
You've linked Atlanta twice in the same section.
Removed link.

Athletics

You mention Farah's debut in the first line. Typo I presume?
I was working on two articles at the time, so I guess I added that. Removed.
There's a spaces missing between a few cites and the following sentences in this section.
Fixed.
I'd suggest tacking on a copy of cite 9 to the end of the first paragraph - that way it's clear that it's fully cited.
Done.

Judo

Move cite 14 to the end of the sentence alongside #15.
Done.

That's all I've got. Once those copyedits are made, I'll be happy to promote. Miyagawa (talk) 09:31, 21 November 2014 (UTC)Reply

Many thanks for the review Miyagawa. I believe I have fixed the issues above. good888 (talk) 13:59, 21 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
Thanks, I'm happy to pass. Miyagawa (talk) 15:01, 21 November 2014 (UTC)Reply