Talk:Butch Woolfolk

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Can we please stop all the University of Michigan football articles.68.198.123.217 (talk) 22:08, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

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• Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.^[?]}Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 05:02, 5 January 2008 (UTC)
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You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 04:29, 31 December 2007 (UTC)

Second Son

I am trying to confirm if his second son's name is Jarrel (mentioned here: http://www.chron.com/CDA/archives/archive.mpl?id=2001_3333046)--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 00:48, 6 February 2008 (UTC)

GA review

GA review (see here for criteria)

---

Some prose tweaks and it needs a better transition between the NFL career and the Career after football sections

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

   Prose tweaks and some flow issues, needs n dashes and persondata

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

   a couple places need citation

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Details:

• I know you won't believe this, but it feels like the lede is too long for the article.There are a lot of charts and tables in the article, which makes the main text of the article feel lighter than its size. Also, the early part of the article is "light" which gives the thick lede a topheavy feel.
  • Is that better?--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 16:29, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
    • Better. I know hearing me say the lede was too much was probably a shock. Ealdgyth | Talk 16:37, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
      • I rearranged to a more chronological flow and tried to tighten up.Y--Cbl62 (talk) 06:48, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
• Template:Persondata Y--Cbl62 (talk) 04:42, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
• I got the n dashes in the lede and infobox, but I'm sure there are more that need to be put in.
  • I probably ought to learn, but still don't understand the what and why of "n dashes." Tony -- could you fix this??Cbl62 (talk) 06:58, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
    • I think I got them. Y--Cbl62 (talk) 06:59, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
• Is it track and field or track & field? You use both. Pick one for consistency.
  • I switched all the "track & field" references to track and field. Y--Cbl62 (talk) 04:47, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
• High school section, did he play part of the year for Westfield in 1977? The first sentence says he played in IL for 1976 and 1977, but then the third sentence says he made all state at Westfield.
  • I don't know the details, but football is a fall sport and most families with children move during the summer. --TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 17:16, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
    • Based on the info in the two articles, it appears Woolfolk was at Kankakee for the 1976-1977 school year but was then in NJ in the fall 1977. I revised to clarify.Y--Cbl62 (talk) 06:48, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
• Same section, last sentence, what the heck is a "Schoolboy" time?Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 17:06, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
  • I'm not a track and field guy, but "schoolboy time" is what the sources says. I have also seen that term used in at least one other article about track and field.Cbl62 (talk) 06:48, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
• U of M section, MVP subsection, the sentences are short and choppy.Y--Cbl62 (talk) 06:56, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
  • I think you meant the paragraphs were stubby.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 17:31, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
• Same section and subsection, the first paragraph doesn't really need four citations. Consider culling them down to two.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 17:37, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
• Same section and subsection. Citation for the "greatest thrill in football" Y--Cbl62 (talk) 06:56, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
• Same section, track and field subsection, the first paragraph doesn't really need three citations. Consider culling one or two.Y--Cbl62 (talk) 06:56, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
• NFL career. He ended up with the Lions in 1987, but how did he leave football? There is no transition between the NFL career and the Career after football.
  • I added further info on time as a Lion and knee injury that ended his pro football career.Y--Cbl62 (talk) 06:56, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
• Career after football section, all of the paragraphs in this section are short and stubby. So are the subsections. Consider reworking and merging to make the prose less choppy.Y--Cbl62 (talk) 06:56, 12 February 2008 (UTC)

I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on.Ealdgyth | Talk 16:06, 8 February 2008 (UTC)

Looks great! Passing it now. Ealdgyth | Talk 16:11, 13 February 2008 (UTC)

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